Here’s what you need to know about Spiritual Hunger:
We all have it. And we all work to satiate it in different ways..
Once I learned this I stopped judging people for HOW they chose to satiate it. We have all turned to different things to satisfy us. For me it was relationships, men, avoidance.. and so much more.
Shaming ourselves doesn’t help anything..
But what I found is that God wanted to restore me back to wholeness in and with him – allowing his love and his truths to permeate my heart and soul so that there was less to no drive to chase and prove myself and abandon who I really was and what I really needed and wanted in order to get a quick fix.. like eating McDonalds.
And what I found is zero shaming and criticism for the way I was trying to feel better, to heal, to cope..
And just one big set of open arms, ready to coat my inner world with his goodness and love for me.
My love, you dont need to go through this world alone, lost, existing, coping in any area, ever again.
He’s waiting to be received by you so he can restore you to the wholeness you were born for ✨
When we are taught God through the lens of shame and perfectionism; we often find ourselves proving ourselves; hiding who we really are, doubling down on working hard to always perform, achieve and reach the mark.
When we finally know God as Abba “Papa”, we can run to him, even in our mistakes and imperfections.. and still find sanctuary, rest, wholeness, restoration and home.
Perhaps it’s time to decondition from distorted religious teachings and upgrade your view of God so you can see and experience him for who He is.
There were two big places in my life that toxic teachings around me being fundamentally unworthy and inherently not good really showed up and made me begin to question what I had been taught:
1. My romantic relationship/s: how can I equally say I’m “worthy of love” AND believe I’m fundamentally unworthy?
2. In business when it came to owning my value and charging appropriately: how can I equally own my value AND believe I’m a piece of trash God can’t even love or look at without his Jesus glasses?!
So it became a big focus for me, an internal wrestle that I took with God and away from the unhealthy environments to uncover HIS truth.. not somebody else’s biased perspective.
And I discovered so much; about my humanity, about the way the world is, about what sin is, and about my actual worth in the sight of God..
But it wasn’t enough to have different head knowledge… it had to sink DEEPER into my spirit to actually begin making a difference
Because these teachings and experiences I had absorbed that created this core belief were already subconscious programs rattling around in me..
.. which meant that despite TRYING HARDER to operate as a person who believed I had immeasurable worth didnt work (like an elastic band around my waist, always pinging me back to unworthiness)
.. which meant just BELIEVING MORE in myself and my value didn’t work (because I was trying to convince myself of something I didn’t actually believe)
.. which meant I was making decisions, on autopilot, around this unworthiness.
And maybe you can relate to this same frustration?
What you need is the ability to shift how you see yourself at a subconscious level..
To untangle from the parts of you that were developed in response to unhealthy teachings on self
To love on those parts of you and honour them
And to lead them into the truth of who you are, who God created you to be..
So you can start seeing yourself in a completely different light which leads to moving in life and biz from WHOLENESS
Which means you no longer need patterns of proving, perfection and people pleasing – you no longer feel you have to FIGHT for what is already yours.
God’s perfect love transformed me more than shame ever could
For decades I was in unhealthy religious and familial environments filled with shame, fear, obligation, guilt, judgement and perfectionism. It was soul-destroying for my self esteem and worth.
I worked SO HARD to change every inch of myself to be more pleasing, to conform, to be the perfect [wife, daughter, good Christian girl..] and when I failed over and over again, my shame hole just kept getting bigger..
Then Jesus came along and I first-hand experienced His love enveloping me.. covering and eradicating that shame so I could hold my head up. So I could feel whole and valuable..
And it was hyper-transformative. Because not only was the shame removed, the change from a place of wholeness was so powerful, it overtook any of the “work” I could’ve done on myself.
It’s understandable to live through environments like that and expect these exact same treatment from God himself..
But it’s not living in alignment with truth; it’s living in alignment with trauma.
When we expect Jesus to shame us, but instead we experience Jesus sitting beside us and loving us.. it’s impossible to see Him, ourselves and our lives the same..
Exploding the past limits of our potential, we now see ourselves clearly and relate to both God and self in health, wholeness and value.
This is true spiritual awakening! Bursting through spiritual mediocrity to embrace the abundance of spiritual wealth, potential and impact God designed you for.
Don’t let your limited, distorted view of God due to past experiences block you from the fulfilment, wholeness and explosive impact and potential you were born for.
3 things I wish I knew sooner about having a close relationship with God after experiencing alot of religious garbeigeeee:
ONE: Just how much my complex faith history in toxic religious Christianity had impacted my view of God. All of me didn’t feel SAFE with God because of the level of trauma (religious abuse, domestic violence, divorce, smear campaigns, disease) and distorted religious teachings I had encountered.
TWO: My toxic relationship with my earthly Dad overshadowed my relationship with God and blinded me to His true nature, identity, character. Because your EXPERIENCE with the masculine will always overtake REALITY when there’s trauma involved. While we are in projection/protection mode, we literally create our own blind spots.
THREE: How my Attachment Style applied to my relationship with God too, which became a major healing ground and mirror for my other relationships. As one improved; they all have – especially my relationships with men. And I have guided clients to the same with extraordinary impacts on their marriages!
BONUS FOUR: that it was actually POSSIBLE to have:
1. A close relationship with God that actually nourished my life and soul
2. That I could have a healthy relationship with God without being CONTROLLED by Him/people who claimed to represent him
3. That I could have a healthy relationship with him WITHOUT losing myself completely.
This is just the pinky toe fingernail tip of the iceberg that is resetting your faith to finally have the kind of connection your soul craves.
If you are in a place where you have uncertainty in or around your faith; feeling distant, disconnected, disillusioned, disappointed or even spiritually dry and burnt-out..
And you desire that safe, connected and even soul-nourishing relationship with God without being controlled, stifled or losing yourself again..
You know you don’t want to be here, feeling this way in a year’s time, or even 3 months’ time..
You invest in yourself to up-level your business, your health..
And maybe you feel you’re in a place where you “should” be happy but feel this tugging at your heart..
This – your connection with the one who breathed life into you and delights in you, the connection you were made for – UNDERPINS IT ALL.
But you feel so TORN because of your complex faith history and you think “Where do I even start!?”..
This. This is where you start:
For when it’s YOUR time:
LS x
Let’s begin clearing away the debris of the past, making sense of it so you can get the CLARITY you need to move forward into a more peaceful and connected life.
Religious mindsets are not limited to religious environments (and why you must understand this to prevent burnout and avoid losing yourself.. again).
Having walked alongside many hyper-achieving leaders in business for 14+ years of all kinds of beliefs and backgrounds, I have seen these exact unhealthy mindsets played out in many spheres – including coaching, high-ticket and spirituality.
When we have absorbed the idea that there’s something fundamentally wrong with us that can come from unhealthy religious and familial foundations; that we need fixing, that we have to either work super hard to be perfect, or to perform our way into God’s good books..
We end up being attracted to environments where these exact same perfection and performance-based principles apply.
This MIRRORS BACK your already absorbed internal and subconscious belief systems..
And can leave you feeling even more inadequate or like you need to double-down and work even harder to prove yourself, to overcome all your flaws, like you need to work harder to ascend and fix all your limitations, like I can’t rest because I constantly have to be working, I have to purify before I can experience [joy, peace, love..]..
There is limited grace There is limited peace There is limited self compassion There is limited supernatural support And it’s all on ME, in my imperfections, or I will never reach x-goal.
Always chasing Always proving Always “almost” there
And it sincerely ends up burning you out to think and function this way.
Wondering why as a high achiever, you’re feeling UNUSUALLY unmotivated
Almost always a feeling that is coupled with feeling like I can’t rest or relax because I’m “lazy”, which means you’re not giving yourself what you need to thrive and have hyper-impact
A feeling of anxiousness sitting on your chest that brings with it shallow breathing that’s hard to pin point where it came from..
And an Inner Critic screaming the house down for not fixing yourself fast enough (aka being hard on yourself).
If this all sounds familiar I bring you GOOD NEWS
Because none of this is WHO YOU ARE
None of this is what God himself desires for you
You were not born with this
And none of this means you’re broken and fundamentally flawed…
But it does mean you have absorbed a Religious Mindset that transcends even leaving unhealthy religious environments.
And it does mean that you need to not only DECONDITION from slavery to the toxic mindset that says I need to earn my worth, God’s love, God’s favour and grace (some would call this a Spirit of Religion); and ANCHOR into a brand new IDENTITY as CHILD OF GOD through Jesus..
Living out this identity means we not only prevent burnout (because as a Child of God I access His supernatural support, rest, peace, grace..)
And that I’m no longer magnetised to environments with similar mindsets that leave me abandoning myself by proving, pretzeling myself..
But I am also anchored in a deeper sense of fulfilment, wholeness, connection to God, and life to the full, with God –
I call this SPIRITUAL WEALTH.
And I believe this Spiritual Wealth is our birthright that darkness/the enemy tries to convince us that we are too broken to access, that God has abandoned us.. or a plethora of other lies that are seeping through the access-points of previous hurt and traumas.
The majority of high achievers I’ve worked with over the last 14+ years have ALOT of life force energy to build, to create, to transform this world with positive change
But their energy is spent on the wrong things – on the proving, on the performing, on the super hard work rather than investing it into a beautiful soul-nourishing relationship with God himself that FREES us from everything that tries to distract, distance or create dependency and fear.. and then building incredible MEANINGFUL impact with aligned goals and business.
When we untangle from a complex faith history, distorted teachings and Religious Mindset and anchor into our true identity; we are liberated into live out our highest potential and impact as a highly fulfilled, grounded and unshakeable leader.
Even if you lost EVERYTHING. Wealth. Relationships. Health. With God you would still be okay. Still be loved. Still be worthy.
At different points in my life I HAVE lost everything. I know what rock bottom feels like in wealth; relationships and health. The three biggest spheres of our lives apart from our spirituality.
And I can tell you this: even there.. I was okay. Even there, I was valuable. Even there I was loved. Even there, I was held.
As high achievers we are so driven to reach all our goals in all 3 spheres as if when we FINALLY get to that end point we will feel enough, finally feel fulfilled, finally BECOME all that we were born to be.
This is why as high achievers we end up in burnout, with high anxiety, panic attacks and poor relationships because we are terrified of either A) not reaching our full potential or B) reaching it and then losing it all.
When you chase goals with God you are no longer filling a NEED because HE already fulfils that need in you.
You are not running away FROM you are running TOWARDS, like truly running towards, not just telling yourself you are.
This is why I say so much, He is not the KEY to access wealth – He IS the wealth.. and until you “get” this, I mean really truly get it.. you will be forever CHASING, always burning out, never feeling truly satisfied.
And YES there are so many layers of complexity to this, just to name a few –
A/ some of us are chasing the approval of others because we didn’t receive it when we were younger (or any other unmet childhood need). There is so much to be said for processing our stories and disconnecting ourselves from past abuse, neglect, patterns and stories that allows us to be FREE to live the authentic lives we are born for.
B/ some of us have had incredibly complex and challenging religious backgrounds that make the whole “God” topic a hot topic. And yes.. you can live forever running away from that, bandaiding over it, avoiding everything so you aren’t triggered (avoidance is not a strategy for triggers, nor is it nervous system regulation).. or you can take a stand and face it and open yourself to the idea that maybe this is the connection you were born for.. maybe there’s a perspective shift that needs to happen.. maybe there’s something you’ve missed.
But to make sense of the past, to make progress and move forward we must take ownership for the complexity of our lives – even if we are not the creators of that complexity, we are the creators of our own lives.
What are the areas that you need to take ownership of today?
Where was God when my ex was punching walls? Where was God when nobody believed me? Where was God when I was in so much pain I could barely function?
After many agonising years of wrestle.. years ago it finally landed in my heart that He had never left me. That he had been right by my side the whole way through.
It wasn’t easy. In fact it had been absolutely agonising for me to swallow..
Because if God was real and He didn’t abandon me.. then wasn’t he a neglectful father who allowed bad thing to happen to me? Why would a loving God do that?
And I’m sure if you’ve been through any amount of poop in life you’ll know that feeling..
Maybe even growing up learning that God is big and strong and will come through for me
He can do anything >> Except for me? He didn’t.
He allowed the pain, the fear, the suffering He allowed the CPTSD, the panic attacks, the punched walls.. It was incredibly painful.
And what did it mean about me?
Like maybe there was something wrong with ME that he didn’t want to come through? Maybe I had done something wrong and failed to be the perfect Good Christian Girl? Maybe I had missed something, something big?
So much emotional and spiritual torment trying to wrestle with who I was taught God was and who I had experienced him to be.
And I felt so incredibly alone in it until I found the right guidance.
But it was so hard to even articulate in my own head; let alone verbalise to anyone else.
The truth was that I needed a perspective shift; because the lenses that I had viewed life, God.. even myself through had been a dodgy pair of hand-me-down glasses given to me from distorted religious teachings and unhealthy religious and familial environments.
I needed balance, I needed nuance, I needed a perspective shift… a purge and reset of all I had absorbed.
If you can relate to any of this; this is your invitation to step out of the spiritual desert; the emotional and spiritual waves and into a space of peace and calm
Where you’re handed a roadmap and shown exactly where to start to begin navigating to a more peaceful and calm space.
For when it’s YOUR time:
And.. how to see God, you and life more clearly than you ever have before, trust me- it is so damn liberating.
It is you who’ve seen through the religious facade of the generations before you and it is you who will walk and lead others to a more authentic faith with Him.
Don’t let your frustration and anger with the facade derail you from the destiny he is walking you to.
While they point their fingers at your deconstruction, you see the others pointing back at them. The plank and the speck. The hypocrisy. The hard-no you feel in your body.
I believe God has given so many in our generation have the gift of sight; just don’t let your frustration around what you see become your own blind spot to who He is.
He is shaking up the religious facade, the perfectionism, the toxic conditioning through you.
Let it be the catalyst to become the transformational generation we were born to be, creating ripples of impact with and through and for Him.
He is calling you closer and deeper, out of the false teaching and into His army of light.
Sometimes we wound ourselves because of the expectations we have of others & God that they didn’t meet.
Others aren’t obligated to meet our expectations any more than we are obligated to meet their expectations.
For example: I was shocked when I got married and it was so toxic. Yes there were red flags.
But I thought God would always protect me, always come through for me.. and he didn’t in the way that I expected.
It was heart breaking and I felt so abandoned.
This led to a huge crisis of faith and I hated God for not giving me what I thought I had earned (through working so hard in toxic Christian environments and being a Good Christian Girl).
The truth of it was, I had wounded myself because I was carrying expectations and misunderstandings from distorted teachings.
I was projecting a truth onto God that wasn’t reality, and I got burned.
When we think things are going to go a certain way, we are attempting to gain peace from an ideal projected future, moving people and God like chess pieces to align to that projected future.
It just doesn’t work. I tried it
Ready to go deeper? I love your ability to process and introspect!
Read this:
Sometimes this is how we’ve learned to feel like we are in control. To have expectations and to project those expectations onto others in the hopes that they’ll meet those expectations.
Recognising it’s how we control is a hard lesson, but a worthy one.
When we do the deeper work we learn exactly WHY we are doing it so that we can detach from those behaviours. There’s a deeper reason why you need to stay in control.
Deeper: God isn’t and never has been obligated to meet my expectations any more than I am obligated to meet the expectations of others.
Oooosh. Doesn’t it hit hard?
HERE’S HOW WE STOP HAVING EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS:
1. We are kind and loving to ourselves. Forgiving ourselves once we have this new awareness. No self beat up, only change
2. We take a deep dive into why it is that we are showing up in this way, and get to the heart of it – the root.. so that we can gently remove it
3. We replace the root with a healthy plant, something that will nourish us deeply, so that we no longer crave to have that control. We feel safer, we feel freer, we feel more alive.
4. We show up in the world differently – less anxious, less controlling, and others feel it. They want to be around us because we have no expectations of them (yes we have standards but that is a whole different topic).
We start attracting a new and different type of person in our world; those who don’t expect perfection, those who love without strings, those who value us..
And our whole life + business + relationships transforms from the inside —-> out..
Unfolding in the most beautiful way.
The deeper work can feel daunting, but when we step into the light for healing and we find nothing but gentleness and love, instead of the brokenness and shame we expect, we are transformed and we are free.
