Even If You Lost Everything

Even if you lost EVERYTHING. Wealth. Relationships. Health. With God you would still be okay. Still be loved. Still be worthy. ✨

At different points in my life I HAVE lost everything. I know what rock bottom feels like in wealth; relationships and health. The three biggest spheres of our lives apart from our spirituality.

And I can tell you this: even there.. I was okay. Even there, I was valuable. Even there I was loved. Even there, I was held.

As high achievers we are so driven to reach all our goals in all 3 spheres as if when we FINALLY get to that end point we will feel enough, finally feel fulfilled, finally BECOME all that we were born to be.

This is why as high achievers we end up in burnout, with high anxiety, panic attacks and poor relationships because we are terrified of either A) not reaching our full potential or B) reaching it and then losing it all.

When you chase goals with God you are no longer filling a NEED because HE already fulfils that need in you.

You are not running away FROM you are running TOWARDS, like truly running towards, not just telling yourself you are.

This is why I say so much, He is not the KEY to access wealth – He IS the wealth.. and until you “get” this, I mean really truly get it.. you will be forever CHASING, always burning out, never feeling truly satisfied. 

And YES there are so many layers of complexity to this, just to name a few –

A/ some of us are chasing the approval of others because we didn’t receive it when we were younger (or any other unmet childhood need). There is so much to be said for processing our stories and disconnecting ourselves from past abuse, neglect, patterns and stories that allows us to be FREE to live the authentic lives we are born for.

B/ some of us have had incredibly complex and challenging religious backgrounds that make the whole “God” topic a hot topic. And yes.. you can live forever running away from that, bandaiding over it, avoiding everything so you aren’t triggered (avoidance is not a strategy for triggers, nor is it nervous system regulation).. or you can take a stand and face it and open yourself to the idea that maybe this is the connection you were born for.. maybe there’s a perspective shift that needs to happen.. maybe there’s something you’ve missed.

But to make sense of the past, to make progress and move forward we must take ownership for the complexity of our lives – even if we are not the creators of that complexity, we are the creators of our own lives.

What are the areas that you need to take ownership of today?

Where Was God?

Where was God when my ex was punching walls?
Where was God when nobody believed me?
Where was God when I was in so much pain I could barely function?

After many agonising years of wrestle.. years ago it finally landed in my heart that He had never left me. That he had been right by my side the whole way through.

It wasn’t easy. In fact it had been absolutely agonising for me to swallow..

Because if God was real and He didn’t abandon me.. then wasn’t he a neglectful father who allowed bad thing to happen to me? Why would a loving God do that?

And I’m sure if you’ve been through any amount of poop in life you’ll know that feeling..

Maybe even growing up learning that God is big and strong and will come through for me

He can do anything
>> Except for me? He didn’t.

He allowed the pain, the fear, the suffering
He allowed the CPTSD, the panic attacks, the punched walls..
It was incredibly painful. 

And what did it mean about me?

Like maybe there was something wrong with ME that he didn’t want to come through?
Maybe I had done something wrong and failed to be the perfect Good Christian Girl?
Maybe I had missed something, something big?

So much emotional and spiritual torment trying to wrestle with who I was taught God was and who I had experienced him to be.

And I felt so incredibly alone in it until I found the right guidance.

But it was so hard to even articulate in my own head; let alone verbalise to anyone else.

The truth was that I needed a perspective shift; because the lenses that I had viewed life, God.. even myself through had been a dodgy pair of hand-me-down glasses given to me from distorted religious teachings and unhealthy religious and familial environments.

I needed balance, I needed nuance, I needed a perspective shift… a purge and reset of all I had absorbed.

If you can relate to any of this; this is your invitation to step out of the spiritual desert; the emotional and spiritual waves and into a space of peace and calm

Where you’re handed a roadmap and shown exactly where to start to begin navigating to a more peaceful and calm space.

Reset Your Faith is a 3-part mini course with the first steps to reclaim a safe and soul-nourishing relationship with God after distance, disconnection, faith crisis or complex faith history. (without being controlled or losing yourself again)

And.. how to see God, you and life more clearly than you ever have before, trust me- it is so damn liberating. 

It is only $27, however if you are experiencing financial hardship where this isn’t possible please PM me.

LS x

You Saw Through The Religious Facade. What Now?

It is you who’ve seen through the religious facade of the generations before you and it is you who will walk and lead others to a more authentic faith with Him.

Don’t let your frustration and anger with the facade derail you from the destiny he is walking you to.

While they point their fingers at your deconstruction, you see the others pointing back at them.
The plank and the speck.
The hypocrisy.
The hard-no you feel in your body.

I believe God has given so many in our generation have the gift of sight; just don’t let your frustration around what you see become your own blind spot to who He is.

He is shaking up the religious facade, the perfectionism, the toxic conditioning through you.

Let it be the catalyst to become the transformational generation we were born to be, creating ripples of impact with and through and for Him.

He is calling you closer and deeper, out of the false teaching and into His army of light.

He is waiting with open arms.

When Expectations Hurt

The hard lesson I learned is this:

Sometimes we wound ourselves because of the expectations we have of others & God that they didn’t meet.

Others aren’t obligated to meet our expectations any more than we are obligated to meet their expectations.

For example: I was shocked when I got married and it was so toxic. Yes there were red flags.

But I thought God would always protect me, always come through for me.. and he didn’t in the way that I expected.

It was heart breaking and I felt so abandoned.

This led to a huge crisis of faith and I hated God for not giving me what I thought I had earned (through working so hard in toxic Christian environments and being a Good Christian Girl).

The truth of it was, I had wounded myself because I was carrying expectations and misunderstandings from distorted teachings.

I was projecting a truth onto God that wasn’t reality, and I got burned.

When we think things are going to go a certain way, we are attempting to gain peace from an ideal projected future, moving people and God like chess pieces to align to that projected future.

It just doesn’t work. I tried it 😅

Ready to go deeper? I love your ability to process and introspect!

Read this:

Sometimes this is how we’ve learned to feel like we are in control. To have expectations and to project those expectations onto others in the hopes that they’ll meet those expectations.

Recognising it’s how we control is a hard lesson, but a worthy one.

When we do the deeper work we learn exactly WHY we are doing it so that we can detach from those behaviours. There’s a deeper reason why you need to stay in control.

Deeper: God isn’t and never has been obligated to meet my expectations any more than I am obligated to meet the expectations of others.

Oooosh. Doesn’t it hit hard?


1. We are kind and loving to ourselves. Forgiving ourselves once we have this new awareness. No self beat up, only change 🤍

2. We take a deep dive into why it is that we are showing up in this way, and get to the heart of it – the root.. so that we can gently remove it

3. We replace the root with a healthy plant, something that will nourish us deeply, so that we no longer crave to have that control. We feel safer, we feel freer, we feel more alive.

4. We show up in the world differently – less anxious, less controlling, and others feel it. They want to be around us because we have no expectations of them (yes we have standards but that is a whole different topic).

We start attracting a new and different type of person in our world; those who don’t expect perfection, those who love without strings, those who value us..

And our whole life + business + relationships transforms from the inside —-> out..

Unfolding in the most beautiful way. 

The deeper work can feel daunting, but when we step into the light for healing and we find nothing but gentleness and love, instead of the brokenness and shame we expect, we are transformed and we are free.

The Rules of Female Boundaries

A woman of high influence, standards and contribution cannot:

A) HIDE behind boundaries (lack of self-trust) AND

B) IGNORE them (being nice)

Here’s why:

A dog in protection-mode (fight/flight – sympathetic nervous system response) gives no warning.

It explodes and attacks.

It is reactive.

And purely reacting on its natural instinct based on the state of its nervous-system.

Alot of pent-up energy

0-100 miles/hour in 10 seconds.

A great dog, however, has controlled aggression.

It releases a warning growl and perhaps bares its teeth to let the intruder know it is trespassing on what it considers its territory.

This growl is communication, not reactivity.

it comes from a more centred place. A less reactive place. A regulated nervous system and a healthy stress response.

This growl is communication that you have crossed or are about to cross a line..

A line that enters my territory (an area of my dominion, where I am the leader/authority – this is my Personal Sovereignty)

And it’s this communication that offers the intruder an opportunity to respect that dominion, or to openly challenge that dominion.

>>> The dog isn’t trusting the warning growl to keep it safe. <<<

The dog is ready and willing to use what is necessary to enforce that dominion.

And this is where we must see the limits of our boundaries.

She who trusts in boundaries (communication) to keep her safe will keep herself in a sympathetic nervous system response – an anxiety and hypervigilance.

Her anxiety is a sign that her nervous system is activated and that she deep down doesn’t feel safe.

She who ignores boundaries (communication) sets herself up for a lifetime of explosive reactivity. She takes it and takes it, until she can take it no more.. and out comes the lion ready to swiftly take down her prey.

She who trusts herself to communicate clearly and without reactivity and trusts herself to enforce her dominion can relax and be.

The reason we struggle with boundaries so much is because we often do not trust ourselves to enforce our dominion if needed, or we are subconsciously scared (even if we don’t consciously FEEL scared).

Enforcing our dominion looks like:

>> Clarifying or restating a boundary

>> Having a confrontational conversation

>> Releasing that person from relationship with us

>> Calling the police

>> Changing the locks

>> Stepping back from that relationship

>> Moving that person outside of our circle of trust (Meet the Fockers ha!)

>> Blocking or unfriending them

All of which can feel like a loss of love to deep places in our heart.

So what’s really going on for us when we struggle with boundaries and confrontation has nothing to do with our VOICE.

Your voice is perfect. It works.

You have access to a growl

You know how to growl

You can growl

But you’re either trusting too much in your growl


You’re not growling enough

And you’re doing this because of deeper feelings of lack.. specifically around love and attention.

To be a woman of higher influence and impact you must be able to lead yourself and others well (you’ve heard it a million times)

But to do this on a practical level, you must be able to communicate when you feel your territory is being infringed upon

Or you will feel drained by the people around you

Wondering why your work or clients don’t light you up no’ mo’.

Feeling that drip, drip, drip of annoyance

But it’s time to take full ownership of it.. because YOU, my love have dominion here.

You get to have EXCITING client, partner and other relationships, without the guilt, without the anxiety sitting in your chest

You get to curate the world around you so it’s something that ENERGISES you

You get to light up with the world with your magic

And you get to GROW + EVOLVE in this as you step up into higher standards of being…

.. even when it challenges every fibre of your being.

The question becomes, HOW do I enter higher levels of self-trust, communication and Personal Sovereignty?

You become the version of you who is clear about her territory, and is willing to rise to enforce it.

You can be clear and kind

Sassy and firm

Fun and boundaried.

You know you can be her, that it’s all possible for you. And that unlocking her unlocks higher levels of contribution and positive influence in the world that you are designed for.

Reclaiming Personal Sovereignty After Religious Christianity

Today’s important topic is how to reclaim your personal sovereignty after, you know, maybe growing up in religion having an experience with religious Christianity. Maybe you were married to a Christian man, he was abusive, maybe you were brought up in a Christian family, maybe you went to a Catholic school. And that impacting the way that you are showing up in the world as an influential leader right now. Maybe you feel like you’re a little bit stifled a little bit suppressed, kind of in a box be limited by the past. What I want to do is liberate you from that today!

This topic for me is a huge one, because this was one of like, the pivotal moments in my life where once I actually did grasp this. Everything transformed. But if I can pass these lessons on to you now, so you don’t have to spend, you know, years wandering around the desert wilderness like I did, then this is my gift to you.

So the topic of reclaiming personal sovereignty is a big one. Because not just have I personally gone through it, you know, I’m someone that notices patterns. And so for over the last over a decade, in business in my business, I’ve been watching high achievers, and I really love to observe. Did I just say lob Anywho. I love to observe high achievers. I’m kind of like the David Attenborough of high achievers, right. So I’m like, in the bushes, with my little hat on behind the jungle waters. And I just watched you guys in your natural habitat, and how you show up and where your limits are. And I see, I see, you have so much potential, and you deep down know that or you wouldn’t even be listening to this podcast, right? If you didn’t know that you had some more potential to tap into, you wouldn’t even be listening, right. And so I watch you guys. And I see this potential. But then I also see the patterns. And I see this pattern. And this is the pattern that I was in as well.

And the pattern really caused some significant limits on the influence that I was having in the world, but also the influence that I saw others were able to have in the world. And also the experiences that I was having with clients as well. And the limits and the ceilings that they were coming up against in their business, especially when it came to unleashing their voice and fully using their voice. really owning truly owning the value of what makes them unique and special. And then also really owning their vibrance, like what really showing up in the world at 110% strength and not feeling like they need to kind of mute themselves down. And so this is the pattern that kept coming up. It was always around voice vibrance value.

So it was like having, having those tough conversations. Were really extra challenging. You know how tough conversations are hard. But it can feel extra challenging when you are in this position where you haven’t reclaimed your personal sovereignty because you kind of have this contract, extra conduct contraction going on. Or it’s like actually, I need to be really super nice to this person. I don’t want to upset them. I don’t want to offend them, even though you’re in a conversation with an employee that’s not showing up how they should be. Or maybe they’re, you know, ripping you off or whatever and you still feel like you need to be a nice person or you know, taking it and taking it and taking it and taking it and then finally exploding. Not feeling like you can set boundaries or setting boundaries and then letting them slip. Or the opposite is what I’ve seen is that it’s Like I have to set like really hardcore boundaries because I don’t actually, I have to fight for what is mine, right? And it’s this exhausting place to be in because you’re constantly having these boundary issues. You’re constantly feeling like your personal sovereignty is being questioned, tested, challenged, whatever language it is, it’s like these constant violations are happening. But I am constantly in fight mode to reinforce those boundaries. I’m constantly in fight mode to make sure I get what is mine, which is me, right?

That’s what personal sovereignty is.

I’ve got my definition up here, my definition for sovereignty, as in our personal sovereignty, is honoring my God ordained right to dominion over myself under God as a divinely and intentionally designed human being.

And so we deep down know this and kind of feel this definition, like in our body, it’s like a really physical reaction to our boundaries really being violated to ourselves being violated. And we know this definition, but it’s like, we haven’t reclaimed, we haven’t reclaimed our sovereignty. So we haven’t put back into alignment that the thing that is ours, right, if feeling this, you feeling it kind of deeply, because it’s that physical reaction in your body that is telling you, this isn’t okay by me, right.

But what we do then is we tend to overreact we tend to so old layer, previous layer, she used to take it and take it and take it and take it and take it and then explode. And so it was because I didn’t actually know I didn’t actually feel like I had a claim to myself. I didn’t feel like I had a right to own my, my voice and my vibrance and my value. I didn’t feel like I had a right to set boundaries and to say no to people and, and you know, you might not be this bad, right? Like, oh, Leah, she was pretty bad in this category. Right? I was very extreme, you might not be feel like you’re that extreme. But you just still have these violations being taken place where you’re not actually where you want to be on this, and it leaves you feeling very frustrated, very limited as well.

Because it’s like until you reclaim that sovereignty until you reclaim your voice and your value and your vibrance, you can’t fully show up in the world as yourself in your business in your sphere of influence. And then that therefore limits your ability to feel fully yourself in your business and to contribute to the world to make the world a better place in the world that you in a way that you know you were born for in a way that you really truly desire to.

And so it’s a really frustrating place to be and then I’ve absolutely been there. And so if we aren’t going to kind of if we haven’t reclaimed our personal sovereignty, and created it as I’m going to say, neutral territory, if we haven’t made it neutral territory and taken away that energetic charge that makes us want to, that’s causing that physical reaction in our bodies to every single sovereignty violation that’s going on. Right? I’m not saying that we should take it. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is we want to reclaim our power over this. And we can’t do that, while we’re in a space of reaction. And so what we have to do upon me, is to stop believing the lie, that we don’t actually have rights to ourselves, we have to unpack and really understand who who it is that we are, and who it is that we aren’t, who it is that others are and who it is. They aren’t who it is that God is and who it is God isn’t. And so it’s in understanding these, this kind of tangible separation individuation from others that were actually able to begin to reclaim the territory, because it’s God given territory, right?

This isn’t like some imaginary fairy land that I’m just making up this is God your God does. God designed you as a unique human being you have an individual fingerprints Like the hairs on your head, a number, like the way that our bodies work and can, can heal themselves. And it this, like, the physical body is just insanely amazing thing. Right? So we are these amazing individual God given individual creatures. And because God has created us as intentionally designed individuals who yes, we do take part in the collective. And so in all of our behaviors, we don’t want to be selfish. But if you’re listening to this today, I would say that you have the opposite problem. And that is you think the most minor things are selfish, and they’re actually you staking a claim in the ground for your personal sovereignty. And it’s almost personal sovereignty, it’s almost like drawing a circle around yourself and saying, Well, this is who I am. And this that is who I am not. And this is where you can come. And that is where you cannot come. And so it’s getting really clear on who you are and who you are not. And in that there are there are boundaries, as in verbally spoken boundaries to other people. But there are also energetic boundaries, you know, we can verbally speak boundaries, until the cows come home. And I’m going to do a whole episode just on this topic.

But if we don’t have the energetic boundaries, if we are not actually holding that energetic standard, if we allow, we are okay. And we allow because we are trying to be. So for example, an employee’s stealing money from the register, and you confront them, and you work yourself up to have this conversation, you’ve, you know, had a bunch of anxiety and doing some deep breathing, you finally decide to confront this person, you sit them down in your office, as the CEO, and you’re like, we’ve noticed this has been happening, can you please not do that anymore, if you do that, then you’re going to be fired, right? But the thing that you may not know and realize about yourself, if you have not reclaimed your personal sovereignty, if you still have some of that, I call it the good Christian girl. And I’m going to talk about that in another episode. But if you still had that Good girl, good Christian girl thing going on, subconsciously, we don’t consciously you might be like, I’m gonna show up as the most powerful queen in my business. But subconsciously, if you haven’t dealt with this stuff, then that person energetically can feel that you are too nice, and that you are probably not going to fire them. And so they’re going to do it again. And so you might find yourself in these scenarios where these things are happening again, and again. And again, you like, why are they happening, I’m setting boundaries, right? And it’s so frustrating. But it’s because you haven’t reclaimed your personal sovereignty in these areas.

Another area that can come up in is around your personal, setting that personal authority and having that voice and taking a stand for the things that really matter to you. But what you might find yourself doing instead is, if you haven’t reclaimed your personal sovereignty is really, you know, shrinking down, or staying silent when you really want to say something, or not taking a stand for the work that you really want to do and doing, saying the things that you’ve really mattered to you and doing work that is really meaningful, right? And so, these are real, energetic drains, and we end up feeling so just exhausted and burnt out, and not able to put a finger on why.

And the reason why is because they’ve got all these energy leaks, where you you aren’t taking a stand for your personal sovereignty, because you’ve been taught not to write, I’m not saying all religious environments are like this, but a lot of them are, especially in religious Christian environments, where you are literally taught to be that good Christian girl who is compliant, who is service, like her value is found in serving others, who is who, you know, does let anyone do anything because she’s just nice, and she’s happy and she’s smiling all the time. And she’s good, you know, and she’s silent and quiet and stays, you know, wears her beautiful pink dress and doesn’t rock the boat. Right? So we’re literally taught we can this is, this is our inherent sovereignty is already there. It’s intrinsic. It’s already there. But it’s conditioned out of us in these environments. And so that’s, that’s why take a stand for it, you know, because we were not born to be this good, silent, compliant Christian little girls.

We are born to have personal authority God has given us dominion over that realm. And so we have to make that shift, if we want to actually fully unlock the influence that we’re born to have, we have to, this is one of the biggest first steps that has to happen. You’ve got to reclaim your energy and your voice and your vibrance, because it’s yours. And if you don’t reclaim it, then you can’t unlock the impact that you’re born for.

What I’ve noticed is, it’s just getting harder and harder. Have you noticed this, that it’s getting harder and harder to actually be an individual in this world, to take a stand to, to have a voice to say something different to to be different, to look different.

So if you are someone that’s just kind of waiting for it to get easier, or to a lot of women, I find think that this comes with age as well. And it’s one of the biggest lies that were told, because it’s like, you don’t reach the age of like 60. And all of a sudden, you’ve reclaimed your voice. No, you get to, in your personal sovereignty, you get to reclaim that now, not when you think age decides to just like let it fall into your lap. That’s such a victim martyr way of looking at it, you get to reclaim this now. And the reason that I want to do this more and more, and I want to help you guys do it more and more is because I know that it’s getting more challenging.

I know that we need better voices out there in society, we need bigger change. And we need generational and global impact. Because the patterns that we have, we only pass on to those in our sphere of influence, and those in our bloodline. And so if you are having a challenging time, reclaiming your personal sovereignty, you can be Fish’s certain that your daughter is going to have that exact same problem, because the modeling that she has received from you. And this isn’t this isn’t about self bashing, or self blame at all, this is just literally this is how the world works, right. And now that you know better, you can do better, and you do better. Why because we have that influence of our bloodline and our sphere of influence.

I think that’s the most magical thing on the face of this planet, that we have that superpower to jump in, to reclaim this for ourselves. And then that automatically, all the eyes that are watching us, we think that eyes are not watching us, but they are people are watching. And that automatically enters change into their world because it changes the dynamic changes the way that you show up. And so at the moment, you might feel like when you do show up, in a big way, maybe you’ve got a podcast, and maybe you’ve got a YouTube channel, maybe you do a TEDx talk, or even just showing up in your group programs as a coach, or doing an Instagram post, you might find that you feel those feelings of guilt. You know, you feel guilty for being successful, or you feel secretly greedy when you charge high ticket prices, or you feel selfish for wanting more out of life or selfish for wanting to set these boundaries.

You know, and so it’s really, it’s so important because these feelings just sit below the surface. It’s like they sit there and it’s not even like we’re super conscious of them. Sometimes, have you noticed that? That it’s like they just kind of sit there and there’s something there that you can’t quite put your finger on. And often it’s these, I call them the top four, you know, you’ve got guilt, greed, selfishness, and feeling like you’re too much. And they’re really hard to put your finger on. But these are the feelings that come up, bubble up to the surface. Any actually, it’s that past programming and conditioning that is keeping us in a box right now. Right?

We really we want to feel unstoppable. We want to feel excited and feel fully like ourselves in our businesses in our sphere of influence. So that when we’re showing up, we’re showing up in integrity and in authenticity, and so that you can show up and actually make that contribution that you know you were born for. I’ve had clients where it’s like they want to build orphanages in Thailand. They want to do build wells in Africa and it’s like phenomenal, right?

But until they actually smash through these ceilings and neutralize anything that still lingering in their subconscious from the past. Then they really find it it feels like an uphill battle.

All to be able to get where they really want to go like that next level change, generational impact that they actually, you know, just really making the world a better place from just being you. And like, what an amazing opportunity that is, this is totally doable. Like, if you know, deep down that you are born to do this, then you’re born to do this, right. And so I really want you to trust that Inkling. And I want you to make the leap that you know you were born for, and stop believing a lie that you don’t have a right to yourself, because you do you have a God given intrinsic, right, that’s there just because you are and a unique individual hand designed by God, we’re going to be creating more and more amazing resources for you. And that you can download, I had a bit of a brain freeze to thin but it came back, it’s all good. You can look at the show notes or go to layer samira.com. and navigate to the podcast page. And you’ll be able to find some free resources there that we’re building for you guys going to be amazing. And just final thought,

What would it look like if you actually really gave yourself permission to be who you really are?

Despite culture, despite family despite the opinions of other people, despite what things look like in the past and the conditioning that you’ve received, even from religious environments?

To stop feeling like you have to pretzel yourself to shrink yourself down?

What would it look like if you did actually finally step take that stand for something and do the work that matters and set the boundaries that you want to set and not feel like you have to be nice when you know and you physically feel like people are crossing your boundaries? Right?

What would that look like?

Because that’s all completely available to you just need to make the decision.

Stop Caring What Others Think Of You

It all sounds so terribly easy doesn’t it to just stop caring what others think of you and to just be your authentic self, especially when we’re talking about business, and leadership being an authority showing up online being visible all the things. Today I’m talking about exactly how how to stop caring what other people think. So you can build the business of your dreams have the influence that you know you’re born for, and without those niggling criticisms, and expectations and things going on between your ears.

It wasn’t all that long ago that I really cared what people thought of me. I’m not someone that I’ve grown up and just had the natural ability to not care what other people think of me. And if you’re someone that’s listening to this, you might be the same or you might feel the same that it does feel challenging to kind of block out those voices, make the aligned decisions and authentic decisions that really work in with who you’re born to be and where you want to go.

It took time for me to understand exactly what was going on, untangle, and be able to do what I’m doing today and that speak to you. But I speak very openly, right? You guys all know that by now, if you are a regular listener, you’ll know I speak very openly, very honestly, I’m very direct, I say what it is that I really want to say. And so if you’re someone that you want to uplevel in your business, in your leadership in your influence, even if you don’t have a business, that’s okay, if you are someone that wants to do that, you want to launch a new podcast that speaks to really specific topics that are so alone to your heart, or you want to write a book, but it’s a book that you know, might receive a lot of backlash, or or you’re worried that it will receive backlash, you know, when it comes to those next level projects, doing a TED talk, for example. And we’re really showcasing who are really most authentic, and really the most vulnerable version of us is, that’s where this really comes up. And we begin to get those spinning of the wheels feelings because it’s like, we want all the things and we are taking action towards all the things.

But because we’re not addressing the root cause of why we care what others think of us, then we are limiting our own potential. We are not becoming who we want to be and who we were born to be. And that’s where we feel super frustrated. And so if you are they’re totally relatable. I have been there. I know how to get through it. And that’s exactly what I want to talk to you today about today.

So with the journey that I had to go on, I really had to untangle from, especially people from my past. And so I really had to I was concerned about what different people were thinking. Were going to think about what I had to say in my posts in my podcasts, what different people would think about if I kind of came out of the closet as a spiritual mentor, what different people would think if I, you know, said what I really wanted to say if I said my opinions on things, I hold strong opinions on things that I had not voiced up until the last few years.

So there were people from my past religious people, pastors, church communities, family members, friends, old friends, like all the things everybody that I could think of, I say secretly thought that I knew what their opinion was going to be, I knew what they were going to think I knew how they’re going to react, or at least I thought I knew how they were going to react.

So if you want to speak on more meaningful topics, but you find yourself shrinking back, this is for you. So whether you want to write a book, or start a new podcast, or just use your current podcast to speak on more, you know, specific topics that you know might be triggering for certain people. If you feel boxed in and frustrated, like limited, and it’s like, Ah, it’s kind of like you’re hulking up inside a box, and it’s like, oh, you’re ready to burst through break through, if you feel joined to the hip, with your phone with social media, because you’re checking on how your latest post went, and you’re worried what other people are going to comment or worried what they’re going to think or you feel like you have to post certain safe content content that you know is safe, that’s going to be liked, so that you get liked. So maybe you’re you’re either posting safe content, or you’re not being visible enough. So there’s those two kind of symptoms that can come up.

And so when we are in the place of caring what others think of us, and allowing, I really want you to hear my languaging around this, allowing those opinions to stifle us, that is in our ownership, it’s in our control, because we can never, we can never control what other people think of us, we can never control what their reactions going to be. So all that we do actually have ownership over is our ability to be able to become really resilient, to actually stop caring what others think of us or to downgrade it so that we don’t care as much.

That is what is within our power.

Because if we don’t, we are just internally dying. It’s like you feel it with every misaligned decision is this relatable with every misaligned decision every time you shrink back or every time you hold yourself back. And you know that you really wanted to push forward and go to the edge of your territory, and you really wanted to expand into new territory or expand the boundaries of where you normally go. As an influential person, as a leader. You feel that internally, it’s killing you because it’s like, I every time I do that I’m abandoning who I really am and what I really want. And so it ends up feeling really draining you feel boxed in you feel stifled. You feel like the Hulk in the box, it’s like, Ah, it’s just the frustration is building. And they end up feeling quite drained. Because it’s like, you’ve got all this energy, and you’re not pouring it where you want to pour it is this, who’s those relating to this right now.

You know, this is not who you are, you’re not someone who is normally bored, you’re not someone who is normally drained or lacking energy or, or feeling frustrated, you’re normally someone that is very motivated, and very, you know, dry, driven to get out there in the world. And just share your magic with the world and create a really positive, amazing contribution. So you might have built an amazing business, you might have huge levels of influence. 1000s have 10s of 1000s, hundreds of 1000s of people following you, it doesn’t matter how big an influence you have built. If it doesn’t feel like you, you’re going to feel those feelings, you’re going to feel those draining feelings those boards stifled.

However, this shows up for you in your world. It doesn’t matter how big and how amazing, and how amazing. The thing is that you’ve built, whether it’s influence on Instagram, whether it’s a business, it doesn’t matter how big and amazing that is. If it doesn’t matter how other people think it’s big and amazing. If you internally are feeling these feelings, then it all just starts to feel like like, why am I doing this? And then you end up going and searching for your why like the Simon Sinek you know, start with wired like, why am I doing this? I just need to find my why. And in reality, it’s actually not that you need to find your why it’s that you need to stop limiting yourself by caring what other people think of you so that you can be the most potent, influential, authentic version of you possible. Because it will get so frustrating very quickly if you’re sick of being tired to other people’s opinions and their criticisms or even just their expert dictation is the expectation of what to post and what to say. And other people have put you in a box and it feels frustrated when you stay, you choose to let those things box you in, and it just sucks the joy right out of life. And it really sucks a lot of motivation out of very usually motivated entrepreneurial people. Because it’s like, it’s not normal for us to lack motivation and like joy, but it just sucks it out of it. Because it’s like, I’m living life. Like,

It feels like you’re living a life that’s not even yours.

You know, it just doesn’t feel like you’re living, even your life and like there’s more available to you. And you want to tap into that and more. And you want to also teach and show your kids that they can tap into their more as well that they don’t have to stay small and shrink and be who everyone wants them to be. And so what normally happens is a few things that normally happen in this place, when we’re caring what other people think of us, we just sweep it under the rug, and we sold drama like yep, it’s going to change, you know, when I have that new marketing strategy, or when I have that new coach to kind of encourage and motivate me, or when I finally find my why, you know, then and so we set up all these rules, you know, then I’ll feel like this, then I’ll feel like that, but it’s not really truly getting to the root cause of what’s going on. And so it’s it’s just keeps his carrot dangling in front of you, you keep investing energy and time, and you keep building building building. But what for?

The other thing people do is to have the, this is a lot of time, coaches who don’t understand root cause and subconscious will say things like, just stop caring what other people think of you just post what it is that you want to post. And if this is I’m here to tell you if this is a pattern for you, if this is something that happens a lot, and you have already, My people are driven, they’ve already tried to resolve it, it’s not like you’re sitting there just like waiting for someone to come and rescue you. If this is happening. Often. It’s a deeply entrenched pattern that is going on that there’s a root cause it’s not just like, you have these feelings, and they’re coming from nowhere. But so many coaches and mentors will tell you that an act like that is the case. But what happens is once we resolve the root, then all of these collapses and moving beyond it is so much easier.

The other thing a lot of people try to do is reject their desires and wants, and they you know, pretend they don’t actually want to launch that book or podcast. And so they pretend they don’t have these desires, and they don’t want what they want. And that doesn’t work either. Because it’s still rejecting yourself, still rejecting what you truly, really, truly desire. And the other thing I find people get fine people do is that they try to find themselves. And they try to find themselves by getting photoshoots all the time, or they go out and they get a new wardrobe. And they try to find themselves as a way to try to be their authentic self. But because the problem isn’t that they need to find themselves, you know who you are already.

The problem is that you’re you’ve been conditioned to behave differently than yourself. That’s the problem. So you can get all the photoshoots and the wardrobes that you like, but it doesn’t change the conditioning. Once you change the conditioning, you can go and do all those things. And those things will just be a natural outworking of the internal transformation that’s already happened. We don’t use external things to cause internal transformation.


So why this is happening is because you have that conditioning. And likely this is conditioning that has happened your whole life, but more specifically in your childhood. But this is this is something that all human beings are being conditioned on social media, by, you know, media, by all of the things that we consume, we are getting more and more and more conditioned to care what others think of us. And we’re getting more and more conditioned to abandon ourselves. Abandon what we want abandoned who we really are abandoned, what we really think what our real opinions are, what we really do stand for abandoned what we want, if I haven’t said that already, and we choose belonging we’ve been conditioned to choose belonging over authenticity. And so we pretend we actually stop pretending that this is Oh, I don’t actually want that or, Oh, that’s not really who I am or or I do agree with you. we soften, and we kind of shrink down. And we there’s contraction around it because there’s lack around the energy, there’s lack, because, deep down, that deep down cause the deep down fear and the deep down root is that we’re actually going to lose love. If we show up in the world as we who we truly are. Our brightest funnest, sparkliest, magical, most powerful self, our deepest fear is that we’re going to lose people and in that we’re losing love. So it ends up becoming a real survival program.

This is why I said, the root cause can’t be addressed with external things, because this is actually a survival thing.

It’s like we need humans need love, we need belonging. And so we actually have to decondition – it’s not about finding who we are, we know who we are. That’s not the problem, you know who you are.

The problem is that you need to decondition this belief system that if you Be who you were born to be, if you be who you are, then you’re going to lose love, you’re going to lose people.


And when you don’t know how to decondition, that when you don’t know what you’re doing, you know, you can pretend. And you can do form your mind, you’re just your conscious mind, you can try to change your behavior around this, you can start to think, oh, I actually just, I don’t care what others think of me. But that’s actually not truth that’s not living in alignment with truth, because it’s very normal, very human, to care what others think of us, it’s very human being trait. And so when we just put on the armour, the tough exterior of and you know, puff your chest out, I don’t care what others think of me up, you know. And when we doing that we’re actually living outside of truth. We’re living out of alignment with our authentic self, and we’re putting on a persona, an over protective persona that isn’t us. So it’s not enough just to tackle these from a conscious behavioural aspect of I’m just going to change my conditioning, I’m gonna change my behavior. Because this is oftentimes conditioned from early childhood, especially if you’ve been in religious communities. If you’ve got that good Christian girl conditioning, or the good girl conditioning that says I need to be this perfect of my version of myself to be loved to receive, to get the things that I want to be to belong, right, I have to be this perfect Christian girl, or good girl in order to receive belonging, and to protect myself basically. So we’ve had that persona and that conditioning. And if you want to learn more about that, you can listen to episode number seven, where I really do a deep dive on the go Christian go conditioning itself.

And so we often we stay in this place. And another reason why we stay in this place is because we deeply know what it means for us. If we were to change if we were to be the fully unleashed, potent, unapologetic, authentic, influential version of us, we know exactly who would leave our circles. We know the love that we would lose. We know the things that we think we know the things that people would say we think we know how they are going to react. We think we understand their expectations of us. And so that becomes another reason why we don’t actually ever leave this patterning because we’re so we’re trying so hard from our conscious mind, our behavior to change this when it’s not a behavior problem.

I’m also going to say that the whole world really doesn’t want you in your sovereignty. I’m just gonna say that. That’s a strong state statement. I know. But the whole world doesn’t want you in your sovereignty. There are very few people in our lives that can handle us at full potency at full authenticity without themselves getting triggered without getting offended. And the other part of this is that when we are in our sovereignty, we can’t easily be influenced. We can’t easily be redirected. We can’t easily be distracted. We can’t easily be manipulated. So that’s the definition of a really authentic leader is someone that cannot be influenced and swayed by the opinions, expectations and criticisms of others.

So instead of being someone who is easily influenced – when we uncover our personal sovereignty, when we finally step into that fully – then we become influential instead of being easily influenced, we receive followers, authentic followers, who love what we’re doing, and put what we’re putting out into the world, instead of following.

Instead of following other people and trying to kind of copy them or copy trends or stay up with whatever else is doing. We are fully in our own lane, and really become influential. And that is magnetic, because you are not going to blend in with your competitors anymore, you’re going to stand out as a voice as someone who uses their voice, who takes a stand. And I know that the people that follow me, they don’t agree with everything that I say. But I know that they respect that I say it that I take that I am brave enough to say it. And it’s only because I have done the internal work and stopped using those external Band Aid fixes to try to resolve this. And it’s so liberating, because you finally feel fully yourself, in your business, in your leadership or in your organization. online, you just feel liberated because you don’t feel like you have to show up, which is draining when you do so when you have to show up in a persona in a version of you that doesn’t really exist. I have to be really professional like you guys, by now you should know that I’m really, you know, laid back and just say what it is that I really want to say. But I used to put on a persona. And it was so draining for me to show up in online spaces and say what it is that I wanted to say because I had to marry what I wanted to say up with the persona that I thought everyone else expected me to be and it was so draining.

When you finally released this, you get to powerfully use your voice and take a stand for the things that matter most to you speak on the topics that matter most. And you just have so much joy and you’re magnetic, just by being you, just by being you and not showing up in the world with all these personas, all of a sudden you are more potent because you’re not being diluted down by all of the expectations and opinions that other people you think and believe other people have of you. And you just get to own your magic and just command what your expertise is worth owning your space taking up space. And just it’s liberating. I can’t think of another word, liberating, it’s so freeing. And so the way that we actually tackle this, the way that I did this, in my own world for myself, after years of I showed up online for years, you know, doing Facebook Lives, I was doing posts, I was doing webinars, I was getting asked on other people’s podcasts, all the things I was showing up in the world. And it’s not that you’re not showing up, it’s that the way that you’re showing up isn’t 100% authentic to you. And that’s why you end up feeling all those feelings that draining the boxed in the boredom.

So the pathway I call it the potent Queen pathway is to get from that good little girl or the good Christian girl to the become the potent, unapologetic queen who has the global and generational impact that she’s born for, not the global and generational impact that others want her to be and to have, but that what she is truly born for. So the way that we do this is that we pick firstly become the catalyst. And that is to become the woman the version of you that turns and faces it, that becomes the one that is willing to change the pattern to be the odd one out to be the leader to be the one who changes it. But also to be the one that’s the Pioneer, that actually maybe no one’s gone before you in this. This is new territory that’s been willing to become the catalyst. It’s been willing to individuate and untangle from the energy of others. This is the most crucial part because we have to really separate from that part of us that has been developed. We have to separate and understand that the version of us that we’ve been showing up as it’s not actually us and it there’s that’s so liberating in itself to when we actually understand how our psyches work, we understand that we do have parts of us that are over protecting us that are trying to keep loving our world that are trying to keep certain people in our world.

It’s so liberating, because once you actually individuate from that, and you get your needs met, that validation feeling that feeling that we get that buzz from having the validation, or even from that buzz that you get from being on Facebook, and having little red notification pop up, that buzz doesn’t have such a hold over us anymore. And so we, we learn how to actually, internally, internally, really validate ourselves. And a part of this is really understanding that if we are truly created by an external God, He designed you uniquely for a reason uniquely and amazingly, and you’re a masterpiece. And so really understanding and owning the value of that letting that sink in not just in your conscious mind, but really letting that soak into all of you into your body and into your subconscious mind. So that that really shifts the way that you show up in the world and reclaiming that God given person, personal sovereignty, reclaiming your space, so that you can fully and finally, unleash as who you were born to be who you were made to be. It’s such a really empowering journey. And I just want to say to you, if you if you’re in this place, and you have built a business of following, and it’s been around kind of a false version of you not that you’ve intentionally done that, like nobody intentionally does that. But if you know that you want to show up more fully as your authentic self and have influence from your authentic self feeling seen, feeling understood, feeling heard, then it’s really important that you take this journey, as scary as it may feel right now, the real fear that I always had was getting to the end of my life and living with regret. And knowing that I didn’t show up when I really wanted to show up or knowing that I didn’t show up how I wanted to show really show up, I didn’t reveal the parts of my heart to you guys that I really wanted to reveal, because I was so scared or that I had built up so much armor so much over protection. And so this is the journey the journey is in the becoming in the becoming a catalyst in individuating and untangling from the energy of others, and to really reclaim that personal sovereignty. If you’re getting those kind of like nervous, fluttery feelings in your tummy. And it’s feeling really exciting and next level aligned. And you would love to work together to develop a blueprint, a really specifically tailored blueprint for you to become the authentic version of you this step by step 90 Day strategy. I have a specific framework that I use around getting you the clarity that you need to be able to take those next steps to really expand and become her become the version of her. You already are her you’re not broken. You don’t need fixing. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re ready to become her now because it’s like let’s throw off everything that you’re not. And step out in step by step form exactly how you’re going to do that.

You’re Not A “People Pleaser”

You’re not a “people pleaser” you’re a woman who has been conditioned to meet your core needs through others. There is no shame in this.

The People Pleaser label is so unhelpful, and it’s not WHO you are.

Nothing outside of God defines your identity or worth.

There is no shame in it, and it is more common than you might think. But to stay there, meeting your needs in this way does not serve you or others.

When we have been conditioned to seek others (or fawn to others) as a subconscious way of meeting our needs we may find ourselves –

🤍 Desiring to, but shying away from that next level of career, influence or business

🤍 Speaking about “safe” topics when you really desire to voice your opinions and be the authority

🤍 Blending in with your competitors because you’re focused on being nice rather than a leader.

🤍 Hitting upper limits in your business where you might not be able to put a finger on WHY exactly, but you have recurring feelings of guilt, greed, selfishness or “too muchness”

When you KNOW that this – this “people pleaser” identity – is not who you are..

You KNOW you’re capable of so much more – to be more, do more, create more, hold more, have more

To tap into the potency and potential ALREADY FLOWING through your veins

To truly UNLEASH as the potent leader you are born to be

Using your magic to make the contribution you are born for

And feeling energised, excited, lit up and ON FIRE to do this work.

The question becomes – how do I break away from the conditioning where I choose belonging over authenticity?

How do I create a bigger ripple of influence without letting what other people may do or say or think shrink me and my vision?

The answer is to detangle –

Thoughts, beliefs, feelings, physiology – from the Good Girl / Good Christian Girl identity so that the REAL you can shine through!

The faux version of you is nice and smiles when she doesn’t want to and says things she doesn’t mean just to get someone on side

The real version of you is potent and powerful, and is focused on her purpose, not what others think of her

CLICK HERE TO BECOME HER – this game-changing, potent, authentic, high income and impact influential leader you were born to be. Explore working together to create your Success Blueprint and use your voice to change church, culture, humans and history.

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Life in Proserpina


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Sarah Hero

Diamond Corporation / CEO



Portfolio 007


Life in Proserpina


Creative Agency

Grooming Agent

Styled By

Sienna Angel


John Bar

Make Up

Sarah Stone


Nulla quis lorem ut libero malesuada feugiat. Quisque velit nisi, pretium ut lacinia in, elementum id enim. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Donec velit neque, auctor sit amet aliquam vel, ullamcorper sit amet ligula. Vivamus suscipit tortor eget felis porttitor volutpat.

Sarah Hero

Diamond Corporation / CEO