How To Stand Up For Yourself Without Exploding In Anger

I used to go from 0 (Nice Christian Girl/Good Girl—compliant and quiet) to 1000 mph (psycho angry Leah) before exploding. Now I stand up for myself instead.. you can too.

I would bottle it up for a longgg time before the inevitable eruption happened because I literally couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Instead of using my voice, I would bite my tongue, be nice, take it and take it, try to be forgiving, try to show grace, try to be like Jesus, pray about it, try to reframe how I thought about it, avoid situations and people that would trigger it…

All of which required a lot of maintenance and energy. All of which actually ENABLED others to treat me however they liked (but that’s probably a post for another day).

The problem was this:
I didn’t know HOW to use my voice appropriately, and because I didn’t know how, when I was triggered I would explode—which led to me not trusting my voice fully.

The problem was NOT the fact that I would explode, or that I didn’t trust my voice…

It was that I had never been shown how to properly use my voice to stand up for myself, voice my opinions, and stand for what really mattered to me in a healthy, balanced, regulated way (without becoming someone I wasn’t, or ruining all the relationships around me); AND I had received conditioning I that told me that being a nice, silent, Good Christian Girl was what God (and men) wanted from me.

You don’t need another self-help book or a surface-level communication workshop. 

You don’t need more guilt-laden advice to “be like Jesus” while ignoring the power and authority He’s given you.

Without appropriate adult female models, we are left in our protective mechanisms, sometimes floundering, trying to work it out ourselves.

You can feel when it’s not working. You try harder, bottle it up longer, and hope the next time will be different… but it’s not.

This cycle of silence, eruption, and guilt takes a toll. It robs you of your peace, your confidence, and the ability to trust yourself. It impacts your relationships, your work, and even your faith.

But it doesn’t have to stay this way.

You don’t need to keep carrying this weight. What you need is to unlearn the toxic beliefs that keep you silent and reclaim your voice in a way that feels powerful, regulated, and authentic.

That’s exactly what we do in my Free To Be You Mastermind.

This isn’t just about learning to “speak up.” It’s about uncovering the version of you that’s silenced herself for far too long—the bold, unapologetic, aligned woman you were always meant to be.

Imagine using your voice with clarity and conviction, standing firm for what matters most to you, and showing up powerfully (and REGULATED) in communication in your relationships and work without fear or guilt.

You can learn to trust your voice, even if you never have before. You can use your voice to stand for what matters most without burning bridges—or yourself out.

Join my next free workshop to take your first step: Workshop Link.

Or PM me to claim your seat in the Free To Be You Mastermind—only a few positions left this year.

Always seeing the magic in you,
LS x

How To Stop Dimming Yourself Down & Silencing Your Voice.

You’re a powerhouse—a high-achieving, visionary businesswoman. So why do you still find yourself dimming your light or biting your tongue in rooms where you should be fully seen and heard?

You want to…

  • Be fully and unapologetically yourself.
  • Own & use your voice to lead with authority.
  • Show up authentically in your relationships and your life.

Because your role demands it. You need to use your voice to lead your team, command respect, and bring your vision to life. You need your voice to stand out online as the authority you are. You need the freedom to say NO to what doesn’t align with your values and goals.

And yet, there’s a hesitation.

Here’s what might really be going on:

SHIFT #1: There’s nothing wrong with you! It’s past conditioning.

The urge to hold back or silence yourself didn’t come from nowhere. It’s conditioning—layers of expectations, rules, and beliefs from family, society, and even faith. None of this was your choice, and it’s not an indication of your value or strength.

This isn’t a flaw—it’s a past pattern. And I’m here to guide you to break free.

SHIFT #2: Trying to change this consciously is the hard way.

This conditioning is deeply rooted in your subconscious mind. It’s like a program running quietly in the background, reinforcing this habit of staying quiet or playing small.

But the good news? You don’t need to force it, nor do you need hypnotherapy. You need to access and befriend the parts of yourself that are still carrying these old beliefs. They are ready to release when you’re ready to meet them.

SHIFT #3: “If I am unapologetically myself, I will lose people.”

Yes, there’s a chance that stepping into your fullest self may disrupt certain relationships. But here’s the truth: you’ll be okay, no matter what. This is where your personal power lies.

When you no longer need approval or validation from others—when you feel truly seen, known, and loved by God—your value becomes rooted in Him. You’re free from the need to pretzel yourself to be who others expect you to be.

You can stand firmly as you are, even when others have their opinions or feelings. None of that has anything to do with you.

SHIFT #4: Do it for the women who come after you.

Imagine your daughters or younger women in your sphere. Imagine the power they’d inherit from watching you speak, live, and lead unapologetically. Liberate them by liberating yourself.

Your voice is powerful. You can be the one to break generational cycles of silence and shrinkage. You can free generations of women to speak their truth, to own their space, and to live fully in the light.

Ready to finally step into the full strength of your voice and purpose?

Click the link to join the Free To Be You Mastermind—where you’ll learn to break through these patterns, claim your voice, and lead the way you were always meant to.

LS x

The Loud Inner Critic

Ever wonder why your inner critic is so loud? She serves a purpose too..

That purpose is often MOTIVATION for CHANGE.

She’s actually trying to help you meet your goals, she’s just going around the wrong way to do it.

For me, that internal voice was always so punishing, harsh and critical. I realised that she was the ONLY solid internal motivation I actually had towards my goals 🤯

And I needed her because I couldn’t understand how to get there otherwise.

Sure, I could get myself there using myself like a punching bag. I could be frustrated and pushing and harsh and get myself there..

But that is a horrible way to live..

Creating your own anxiety..

Never measuring up to your own standards of perfection.

What you must shift is to first recognise that none of this is actually the voice of you – your authentic self. It’s the voice of a version of you who is covering for a part of you still in survival mode.. a part of you that NEEDS THIS.

That NEEDS you to reach that goal so she can feel significant, so she can feel seen and heard and valued. So she can feel safe.

Once these deeper needs are taken care of.. your inner critic doesn’t need to be beating on you all the time. She gets to take a break, and only clocks on when a need isn’t being met.

And then she just becomes an alert system for you to notice, “wow, I’m being so harsh with myself today.. what’s actually going on for me?”

Inner critic as an alert system is a far better role for her than as a motivational coach 😅

I know you’ve tried all sorts of things for your anxiety and inner critic, and this is a way that actually WORKS.

You don’t have to live from a place of self-beating and shame. You can live with a more relaxed and fun internal world while being free to be your most authentic and impactful self.

For when it’s YOUR time:

LS x

The Rules of Female Boundaries

A woman of high influence, standards and contribution cannot:

A) HIDE behind boundaries (lack of self-trust) AND
B) IGNORE them (being nice)

Here’s why:

A dog in protection-mode (fight/flight – sympathetic nervous system response) gives no warning.

It explodes and attacks.

It is reactive.

And purely reacting on its natural instinct based on the state of its nervous-system.

Alot of pent-up energy

0-100 miles/hour in 10 seconds.

A great dog, however, has controlled aggression.

It releases a warning growl and perhaps bares its teeth to let the intruder know it is trespassing on what it considers its territory.

This growl is communication, not reactivity.

it comes from a more centred place. A less reactive place. A regulated nervous system and a healthy stress response.

This growl is communication that you have crossed or are about to cross a line..

A line that enters my territory (an area of my dominion, where I am the leader/authority – this is my Personal Sovereignty)

And it’s this communication that offers the intruder an opportunity to respect that dominion, or to openly challenge that dominion.

>>> The dog isn’t trusting the warning growl to keep it safe. <<<

The dog is ready and willing to use what is necessary to enforce that dominion.

And this is where we must see the limits of our boundaries.

She who trusts in boundaries (communication) to keep her safe will keep herself in a sympathetic nervous system response – an anxiety and hypervigilance.

Her anxiety is a sign that her nervous system is activated and that she deep down doesn’t feel safe.

She who ignores boundaries (communication) sets herself up for a lifetime of explosive reactivity. She takes it and takes it, until she can take it no more.. and out comes the lion ready to swiftly take down her prey.

She who trusts herself to communicate clearly and without reactivity and trusts herself to enforce her dominion can relax and be.

The reason we struggle with boundaries so much is because we often do not trust ourselves to enforce our dominion if needed, or we are subconsciously scared (even if we don’t consciously FEEL scared).

Enforcing our dominion looks like:

>> Clarifying or restating a boundary

>> Having a confrontational conversation

>> Releasing that person from relationship with us

>> Calling the police

>> Changing the locks

>> Stepping back from that relationship

>> Moving that person outside of our circle of trust (Meet the Fockers ha!)

>> Blocking or unfriending them

All of which can feel like a loss of love to deep places in our heart.

So what’s really going on for us when we struggle with boundaries and confrontation has nothing to do with our VOICE.

Your voice is perfect. It works.

You have access to a growl

You know how to growl

You can growl

But you’re either trusting too much in your growl

OR

You’re not growling enough

And you’re doing this because of deeper feelings of lack.. specifically around love and attention.

To be a woman of higher influence and impact you must be able to lead yourself and others well (you’ve heard it a million times)

But to do this on a practical level, you must be able to communicate when you feel your territory is being infringed upon

Or you will feel drained by the people around you

Wondering why your work or clients don’t light you up no’ mo’.

Feeling that drip, drip, drip of annoyance

But it’s time to take full ownership of it.. because YOU, my love have dominion here.

You get to have EXCITING client, partner and other relationships, without the guilt, without the anxiety sitting in your chest

You get to curate the world around you so it’s something that ENERGISES you

You get to light up with the world with your magic

And you get to GROW + EVOLVE in this as you step up into higher standards of being…

.. even when it challenges every fibre of your being.

The question becomes, HOW do I enter higher levels of self-trust, communication and Personal Sovereignty?

You become the version of you who is clear about her territory, and is willing to rise to enforce it.

You can be clear and kind

Sassy and firm

Fun and boundaried.

You know you can be her, that it’s all possible for you. And that unlocking her unlocks higher levels of contribution and positive influence in the world that you are designed for.

For when it’s YOUR time:

LS x

You’re Not A “People Pleaser”

You’re not a “people pleaser” you’re a woman who has been conditioned to meet your core needs through others. There is no shame in this.

The People Pleaser label is so unhelpful, and it’s not WHO you are.

Nothing outside of God defines your identity or worth.

There is no shame in it, and it is more common than you might think. But to stay there, meeting your needs in this way does not serve you or others.

When we have been conditioned to seek others (or fawn to others) as a subconscious way of meeting our needs we may find ourselves –

🤍 Desiring to, but shying away from that next level of career, influence or business

🤍 Speaking about “safe” topics when you really desire to voice your opinions and be the authority

🤍 Blending in with your competitors because you’re focused on being nice rather than a leader.

🤍 Hitting upper limits in your business where you might not be able to put a finger on WHY exactly, but you have recurring feelings of guilt, greed, selfishness or “too muchness”

When you KNOW that this – this “people pleaser” identity – is not who you are..

You KNOW you’re capable of so much more – to be more, do more, create more, hold more, have more

To tap into the potency and potential ALREADY FLOWING through your veins

To truly UNLEASH as the potent leader you are born to be

Using your magic to make the contribution you are born for

And feeling energised, excited, lit up and ON FIRE to do this work.

The question becomes – how do I break away from the conditioning where I choose belonging over authenticity?

How do I create a bigger ripple of influence without letting what other people may do or say or think shrink me and my vision?

The answer is to detangle –

Thoughts, beliefs, feelings, physiology – from the Good Girl / Good Christian Girl identity so that the REAL you can shine through!

The faux version of you is nice and smiles when she doesn’t want to and says things she doesn’t mean just to get someone on side

The real version of you is potent and powerful, and is focused on her purpose, not what others think of her

For when it’s YOUR time:

LS x