I wrote this post on Facebook this week and felt to share it with you..
This is written entrepreneurial woman to entrepreneurial woman. I have worked in this space for over a decade and watch as the same Good Girl/Good Christian Girl patterns surface again and again..
This is not as a political piece. It’s about the masks we wear, the way we believe we have to push through and the deep rest from the pressures of the world – the weight of obligation and expectation – that’s available to every one of us.
Enjoy x
__________________________
This is how I would guide Erika Kirk right now, as a Spiritual Guide & Leadership Mentor for hyper-achieving women, based on what I see:
(Please note: A normal client relationship is based on what I see + potent questions to uncover truth + what I see in the answers. This analysis is only based on what I see so is understandably limited, and making some assumptions).
I just finished watching your speech last night
And phewww absolutely incredible that you had the strength to stand up and do that. I know so many are standing in awe of you right now..
And I can see you did it for Charlie and his cause, and for God. But I also see the tremendous toll and cost on you.
Your face that said you were anything but ready to forgive
Your eyes that still hold tremendous and understandable levels of unprocessed anger
Your body that cannot have had much time this week to rest, reset, process and grieve in between all of the obligations.
Time to be human.
Time to be a grieving wife.
Time to break apart.
And I also see a woman who, like I used to be, fully believes that she has to hold it all together right now for everyone else..
A woman who is so good at wearing that good Christian woman mask – and is celebrated for it:
To sacrifice all of her needs on the altar of obligation and “spreading the gospel”.
A woman carrying the weight of the salvation of the world along with the weight of her own grief while making challenging decisions, running companies, and being a mum to two children who just lost their daddy..
And I can only imagine how bone-deep your exhaustion must run.
As the adrenaline wears off
And the admiration of the crowd dies down that was numbing over the heart wrenching loss and deep shock you experienced
And the grief sets in..
I hope you’ll allow yourself time to be
With yourself
And with God
Without the heavy mask of being the perfect Christian wife and woman..
Without feeling like the salvation of the world is yours to carry (Because it’s not, and never was..)
Without worrying what others will think or how they will react to you taking what you need
And without the pressure to keep showing up as you have done this week. I hope you’ll find another way to honour Charlie’s legacy
That doesn’t require your complete self abandonment, your perfection, your performance
Without obligation and guilt
Where you find another way to cope other than the good Christian woman mask
Where you’ll not only be focused on giving love but that you will stop long enough to receive it, too
And where you’ll allow God to fully carry you, to surrender, release and allow his peace and rest to enter your realm.
If Charlie’s work was truly a move of and with God.. Then his legacy and the work will never fall apart
Because the source is still here.
And that source is holding space for you right now to fall apart
The world will understand if we don’t see you for twelve months because you can’t get out of bed
The world will understand if you need to get daily therapy, curl up on your Pyjamas, hold your babies and weep.
And I’m sure Charlie, even if only for the way that that man looked at you with that grin and sparkle in his eyes, will understand your need to grieve the loss of him and all that you had together.
The only thing that matters right now in your world is the wellbeing of this beautiful woman
Who has lost so much
So that she has the capacity to look after herself
And her two beautiful kids after such shock and loss.
Jesus is saying
Come and sit by me
And let me carry you through this
The rest of the world can wait.
LS x
