I’m a Spiritual Identity & Brand Strategist who guides hyper-achieving former ‘Good Christian Girls’ to be closer to God and free to be your authentic self while co-creating a wildly impactful life – without losing yourself.
I grew up trying to be the Good Christian Girl – fully believing that I was ‘serving God’ with my self-abandonment – over-giving, self-silencing, people-pleasing, shrinking, playing small..
.. thinking I couldn’t be myself AND have a close connection with God.
In my mid-20s I developed a severe autoimmune disease while in a toxic marriage I thought I had to stay in because “God hates divorce” – and I hated God for it. I hated that he “made” me stay and pretend it wasn’t killing me to follow the rules and *maybe* make God happy with me.
In my late 20s and close to the end of my marriage I had a spiritual awakening with Jesus – a supernatural experience with Jesus himself – completely different from my strict religious upbringing – and it forever changed me!
From then I began allowing God to recalibrate me to who it is that he made me to be – the real, unapologetic Leah – instead of the religious, familial and cultural boxes I was brought up in.
Over the last 6 years working with high achieving former ‘Good Christian Girl’ clients and over 16 years in my consulting businesses, I found that my story wasn’t unique – the patterns repeated in others, creating the same beliefs, identities and upper limits.
After walking this journey of awakening, resetting faith & true spiritual identity, reclaiming my unapologetic voice and self-expression, realigning my brand and business with God and now scaling this big, bold, meaningful life and legacy he’s recalibrated me to – I can say:
You don’t have to choose between your authentic self and being close to God – or choose between God and wild levels of impact.
In my world we hold all 3 at once!
I’m excited you’re here! Please see the captain for your snorkel & fins. We dive in the next 10 mins !
Welcome to today’s post where I will surely offend someone lol
I’ve been thinking lately, watching how many Christian (and spiritual people) operate online – and wanted to share what I see..
There are different stages of spiritual thinking and my posts are working to open you up to a higher perspective than the one you already have and maintain.
That may be why they sometimes rub you the wrong way.. or create an uncomfortable feeling like “is she a heretic” but like you also can’t look away lol, or an unsettled feeling that leads to the impulse to correct vs inviting curiosity.
Sometimes we think this is spiritual discernment, but it’s just that we have not matured in our perspective..
Let me explain.
It’s not that I technically disagree with you – you are just at level 1 or 2, and not yet seeing more nuance that’s available.
Stage 1
Stage 1 thinking is often just regurgitated from church and popular teachers. It proves you’re a good Listener and a good parrot. It’s the “right” answer, and you’re often focused on being right. And correcting people back to this supposed “rightness”.
It’s about finding emotional safety in correctness instead of Christ himself alone.
Many Christians are still here swimming in the kiddie pool, with their fluro orange floaties on, while on social media in the comments section. This is why it’s not pretty.
So many Christians never leave this level. They are satisfied being fed by church regurgitated info like a baby bird because it means they never need to go and find or digest food on their own. They never mature. This is often – not always – the spirit of religion.
When we are first introduced to Jesus we do alot of learning from regurgitation. But we were never designed to stay there, because regurgitation is not discipleship. It’s knowledge.
(I’m not saying church is wrong/bad)
Stage 2
Stage 2 thinking is a little more nuanced.
It sees that many Christian environments have missed important nuance about things like our identity in Christ (and not in people or identities like the Good Christian Girl), what being made in the image of God really means, how powerful we are etc. But it is still embedded somewhat in being right and correct, and parroting answers like a good girl.
Still trying to find emotional safety in correctness, still unable to sit in nuance, unknowns, differences.
It is learning that discipleship is not just about knowledge and awareness – how many Bible verses I can quote, how many arguments I can “win” because of how smart I am in biblical knowledge.
Stage 3 + Beyond
Stage 3 + beyond can hold more nuance.
It is an ego that is not influenced by the spirit of religion anymore.
When needing to be a good parrot, right, correct fades away.. we not only save a lot time and energy – but we just stay connected to the vine, learning and operating from humility and simplicity.
It’s sitting at the feet of Jesus in humility – not in ego.
We are then left with an identity that can really begin to wrestle with God and others – with less ego – in bigger levels of unknowns, uncertainty and nuance in topics we previously fully believed were black and white.
We begin to listen more to Holy Spirit –
Asking him for more details, truths, deeper understanding – not just to KNOW but to be truly TRANSFORMED by the **actual ** renewing of our minds
We can see and hold nuance with less reactivity to those who are different..
Maybe even thinking there might be an ounce of gold I can glean here, something God might be trying to show me here..
We approach with curiosity and “mulling it over” deeply – to see what is initially unseen – before jumping to correct.
Here we no longer abandon ourselves – because we know that we don’t have to perform correctness to be deeply seen, known, loved and held by God (or others)
No longer performing the identity of the one who has all the answers, the Good Christian Girl, the smart one, the one who is always right, the one who is the best student, the one who impresses her pastor leaders or others at church, the one who withholds her real opinions thoughts feelings.. even doubts and silences her voice.
Here we walk in more freedom and energy because our ego needs to follow every impulse it feels (often to correct others to our level 1 view).
Here we are actually PLIABLE. Not in a gullible way, but in a God-way. We are finally in a place where we can receive from him.
We understand everyone is on their own journey, that I am not the saviour of the world, and that walking with God means tapping into a VASTNESS of wisdom so expansive that it reaches far beyond what I’ve always parroted, and that I always have a lot to learn.
This is not about being BETTER but they are the staes of spiritual AND emotional maturity that comes from true deep identity work that releases you from an ego still heavily influenced by the spirit of religion – even if you never even knew that it was operating.
You’re over there trying to be right.
I’m over here trying to raise your level of thinking. I do not post to be right, I post to open you to new perspectives for growth.
We are not the same.
This is why I won’t agree or often engage with your attempted corrective comments. Not because I need to be right – though this is my platform and I am responsible for its stewardship – but I do not bow the knee to spirits other than the Holy Spirit, or to those operating from a perspective that does not see nuance where I see an immense multicoloured rainbow.
May this expand you, excite you, and drive you to a depth of not just more knowledge and “awareness”, but a depth in your relationship with God you never knew possible.
When I was a legalistic Christian I could not even begin to imagine life without all the “rules”.
I thought those who didn’t adhere strictly to the rules were rebellious, bad, wrong.
I was constantly anxious about what God thought about me
About how he’d react, and how he’d punish me if I made a mistake
I walked on eggshells to protect his (seemingly) fragile male ego
Always micro analysing all of my actions
Obsessed about whether something was “right” vs “wrong”
Always wanting to be “good” not “bad”
And constantly scared that I was disappointing God, letting him down, and not performing “good enough” to make him pleased with me.
I didn’t realise that I was a walking fear bomb (which is like a glitter bomb but not nearly as sparkly and fun).
With a HIGHLY INACCURATE view of both myself AND God himself.
And today, I find many Christians who believe in grace and Jesus and all things “God is good” walk in these exact same feelings and fears today – often without any awareness that these feelings are rumbling around in them
Creating a hyper-vigilance that can’t be turned off
And that is sometimes celebrated and taught in churches today.
Here’s what had to change for me:
I’m going to share with you how to see yourself and God more accurately..
Without man-made Doctrines Of Fear clouding your vision..
Because by now after reading this, if you’ve gotten this far, you’ve related to a lot of what I’ve said..
Perhaps articulating something you hadn’t been able to put your finger on.
Well, my friend – Jesus is holding out to you a brand new level of freedom to tap into..
The question is – will you relinquish control, man-made doctrines long enough to not just hear it, but absorb it and live differently because of it?
Over my relationship with God, and lots of correction of my SIGHT in communion with Him, he taught me about himself.
About his heart, as a father.
That he wants what is BEST for me.
(Feel into that)
The God who created you wants His best for you!
This becomes then more about the ABUNDANCE of what God holds out FOR you, than it is about the LIMITATION of what he’s asking you to avoid (for your own good)
He’s saying “Sunshine sparkle, don’t go there, it won’t be good for you and I want and have soooooo much more for you!”
It’s not about the limitation and restriction
It’s about how much he loves you and has for you
It’s not about asking “is this right or wrong?” “How close can I get to the line?” “Am I good or bad?”
It IS about asking – “Is this God’s best FOR ME?”
It’s about aligning with the will and heart of God – instead of being scared to disappoint or upset him.
This changes the energy of the relationship
from daughter who walks on eggshells, constantly checking herself and worried about God’s reaction, worrying about disappointing Him – to one of life partnership with the Father.
Co-creating, together, from that relationship.
And no longer about restriction and limitation, but instead enjoying abundance.
I’ve learned that what God holds out in his hand FOR ME, is always far better than the things he tells me to avoid – or even better than I could dream and envision for myself!
This is how you live life with God, without religion, without the “rules” and limitations – communing, receiving love, being delighted in, being guided
And walking in alignment to God’s best.
I promise when you do this WITH God, you’ll walk in so much more self-worth, significance and self-respect
And you’ll make ripples of impact just from showing up in the world while communing with the God who wants more for you.
That smear campaign you’re going through – God hasn’t abandoned you. He promises to fight for you, here’s how:
Not only have I lived through at least 3 wild smear campaigns, I survived WITH God.
He has not abandoned you. He’s got you, I promise – even when it doesn’t feel like it. Stay faithful. Let him work:
– “the mouths of liars will be silenced” Psalm 63:11
– you’ll hide in the shadow of his wings
– he will be for you a shelter
– he will send angel armies to guard your life
– he will rescue you because he delights in you
– he will bring you out into a spacious place
– he will revive you
– he will increase your honour and comfort you Psalm 71:21
– he redeems your life from the pit. Psalm 103:4
– he renews your youth. Psalm 103:5
– he will trample your enemies Psalm 108:13
– he will restore what the enemy has stolen
– he will never leave or forsake you
– if they attack, you will not be overcome
“Adonai knows how the wholehearted suffer, but their inheritance lasts forever.” Psalm 37:18
Get into the Psalms – especially Psalm 37! “Don’t be upset by evildoers or envious of those who do wrong, for soon they will either like grass…”
King David knew exactly what it feels like to be smeared, hunted and lied about..
He was honest with God about what he felt
“Pour out your heart before him..” Psalm 62:8
And to our benefit he wrote and wrote about his heart’s cry to God.
Don’t let what they’re saying about you change the way you feel about God. They’re not that powerful.
He’s got you!
For I am convinced that no smear campaign or religious abuse, no liar, nor darkness, no enemy, no family dysfunction can separate you from the love of God through Jesus.
That smear campaign you’re going through – God will use to PROTECT you. Here’s how:
God turned each of the smear campaigns started against me into the greatest form of protection of me:
– it revealed who was for me vs not
– it liberated me from unhealthy spaces
– it redirected me into what was for me, going to serve me, and my future
– it taught me masses of discipline, discernment and boundaries
– it brought me closer to God – knowing him in the more isolated seasons
– it liberated me from caring about what others thought about me
– it was training ground for solid leadership anchored in trust, sovereignty and discernment
– it liberated me from the exhaustion rhst comes from trying to right the record
You’re out here feeling vulnerable, God’s standing right beside you with his arm around you with a cheeky little grin. Rubbing his hands together because he knows how many angels he already assigned to this milleniums ago..
YOU DON’T NEED THEM TO BELIEVE OR UNDERSTAND YOU. I promise.
What they meant for evil, God will absolutely turn it around so that it becomes favour 🔥
One of the biggest things I worked on in therapy through many smear campaigns was learning to trust God with my reputation.
Many years later the fruits of that have shown over and over again.
People circling back and apologising for believing what was said about me
And others apologising for perpetuating it.
People from the past following and benefiting from my work now – because, let’s face it – they are STILL stuck back where I was..
In man-made religious doctrine, silencing of women and controlling leaders.
Not only that, but instead of needing them to apologise, or for me to be vindicated in some grand public way to be able to move forward in life..
I have been free this whole time.
Let that sink in.
Some of these smear campaigns are over a decade old.
Instead of spending my energy fighting it (energy you most certainly will not get back, and will burn out doing so).
Instead of trying to get revenge
Instead of trying to get people to see the truth..
I chose to do the work to learn to trust God with my reputation..
Even when every fibre of my being was crying out over the injustice
Even when the anger still burned bright in my chest
And I was reeling from all of the effects and consequences of what had happened.
And yes – even when I could not see how God could change it
When it felt like darkness surrounded me
When I was standing – alone (in the natural)
When if seemed there was no light at the end of the tunnel..
It was all stepping me to freedom.
Freedom from the control (because smear campaigns never come out of healthy environments)
Freedom from the fear of what others think of me which has liberated me to lead in a way most are not capable of
And a freedom to let go and ttust God instead of carrying it all.. striving.. fighting and burning out.
I took the smallest measure of faith – all that I could muster – and placed it in The One who told me he loved me, who delighted in me, whose throne sits on a foundation of justice.
And then I chose to spend my energy on me:
Recalibrating to truth, realigning my identity, rebuilding my newly aligned life.
Allowing God into the spaces that mattered to me most
Allowing him to carry what I couldn’t, and knew I didn’t want to.
Friend,
You don’t NEED them to understand you
You don’t NEED to correct everythjng and make it right
You don’t even need ONE other person to see through everything and believe you and “get it” (though I know it’s nice!!!)
You need to let go, and focus on YOU.
You need to onboard guidance that will keep you focused on who you are born to be – not who they say you are.
You will never regret taking the high road with God.
He is the God of resurrection, restoration and you can trust
It might not be how you want
Or when you want
But he’s got it.
It’s time to focus on you.
Recalibrate to the truth of who you were designed to be – and not who they said you are.
Leave those that would choose to believe the worst .. for truth will catch up with them eventually and by then you will have severed the attachment, and need for their approval anyway
(Which serves you as a leader as a super power )
When you do – they will become so irrelevant to your life and future
And you will be whole, focused and free..
Making the wild levels of impact you were born for.
This is not a feeling that’s with me all the time, and it’s also not something I’m unfamiliar with – as someone who has personally walked through religious abuse in many scenarios from family to church.
Last year – I had to report an elderly man to church leadership for attempting to groom me..
It being handled with beautiful clarity, calm, wisdom, dignity and grace by most of hte leadership.. (a very healing experience for me)
(And then cold dismissiveness by ONE)
And then watching over and over – as abuse is being exposed in churches and “christians” again and again.
Feeling the extent of it
Feeling the deep heavy weight of the denial, of those who do not want to look at it, talk about it
Of those who want to pretend it does not exist..
Of those who need more “evidence” for things already clearly seen and known
Of those the Holy Spirit would reveal to them as darkness if they would only ask and walk with him.
If they would only seek wise counsel and not the kind that “circles the wagons” of what and who is most familiar.
And then we come to this week..
When on Facebook a few days ago I accidentally stumbled on a video, recognising the man featured – a self-proclaimed “prophet”
A man who not only attends the church I have, but has been platformed there before. Who I have met before..
After watching the 5.5 hour expose/confrontation on YouTube – where he was accused of data mining, lying, and extensive cover up of his actions
Where other senior leaders around him were also covering up for him… enabling him..
Those who cannot SEE because of their own bias, own ego
Those who enabled and continue to enable him by platforming him
Or those who “don’t have time” to watch the full expose / confrontation to view all the evidence of abuser – but will sit down to watch hours of Netflix every night..
It has been a long season of feeling sick to my stomach about the darkness hiding in church.
But here’s the thing:
I still believe in her..
I still love her..
I still believe there’s alot of good in her
I still believe she’s capable of meaningful, impactful change
Of up-levelling discernment, wisdom (particularly around who is allowed to be platformed)
Of becoming more trauma-informed
Of becoming more spiritually discerning and aware
Of becoming more protective of the sheep
Of valuing truth tellers
Of knowing that such darkness does exist
That it will abuse without remorse
That it will lie to your face
That it will cover it up
And that it will exploit your weaknesses and ego as a leader to enable it.
I am writing about it..
Not because I need your sympathy or concern..
Not because I’m bitter and aggressive
Not because I hate the church
Not because I see church leadership as “bad”
But because I want you to know, that if you feel disillusioned with church at times, you’re not alone.
This weight was never ours to carry..
And I’m carrying it straight into the arms of the One who has the capacity to hold it
The One who brings true, deep, lasting healing and transformation to church as we know it
And I’m leaving it there..
.. so that emotionally, it’s not something that’s weighing me down anymore
And I’m FREE to focus on what’s truly important: people, purpose and communion with the King.
Oh God – continue to shine your light and expose and cleanse them, and us, and me.
I used to resist being closer to God because I feared losing myself. This had nothing to do with being “sinful” or “controlled by the flesh”.. .. and everything to do with my attachment style.
When we label everything as “sin” that is not sin, just because it is connected to the self, we spiritually bypass the underlying root causes.
For some, anxious attachment with God looks like fear of him abandoning us – often similar to one of our caregivers. Losing ourselves with this attachment style looks like self-abandoning in every way possible in attempts to stop abandonment.
For others, avoidant attachment with God looks like fear of being enmeshed, consumed or overwhelmed by him – often similar to one of our caregivers. Losing ourselves in this attachment style looks like self-abandoning by telling ourselves we don’t need, or avoiding needed closeness in safe relationships.
For those with disorganised attachment, attachment to God will look like a mix of both the above; at times fear of abandonment, at times, closeness feels overwhelming.
The solution then is to stop spiritually bypassing what is inherited due to childhood familial dynamics, and address the core relational safety issues – inviting God’s truth into those places, updating the “software” so that what is old is not being remixed with what is current.
You can be fully yourself & deeply connected to God – even if in the past you felt engulfed or rejected by a care giver.
You can feel safe to be closer to God – without feeling like you have no sovereignty or autonomy.
You can be free to be fully yourself, and safe in that, in an honest relationship with Him.
There’s nothing wrong with you – your inherited theology is just not holding you where your growth and evolution is taking you.
As former Good Christian Girls, it’s often at the feet of our mothers where we learned our first embodied lessons of self-abandonment disguised under the label of holiness.
Where we first learned to silence both ourselves and our inner knowing; as if something were deeply wrong with both feminine intuition and voice.
Where we learned to suppress our needs and desires; as if experiencing joy or pleasure itself somehow made us “bad” and “selfish”.
Where we first learned our value as women was in our serving and serving to the point of burnout; or that we were less valuable than men purely because of our gender.
These were never lessons we were sat down and taught in the same way that we learned the alphabet, but it are lessons absorbed, while sitting at the feet of our mothers, like the dutiful Good Christian Girls we were conditioned to be.
Absorbed in such a way that, when we move outside of the constraints of these “lessons”, that our nervous systems become dysregulated.. and we experience upper limits in life today.
As adults it can feel as if questioning this, bringing it up and initiating any kind of accountability is bringing women down or “mother blaming” women for the failures and impacts of a patriarchal society.
This isn’t about mother blaming. It’s worth noting that as a generation we have access to so much more freedom, support and resources than our mothers, grandmothers and generations before them ever did and this is worthy of reflection..
AND – While they may have done the best they could, there are very real impacts leading from not ONLY their lack of freedom, but their choices bleeding into our lives today.
This doesn’t mean we hate our mothers but it can create a complex relationship with both ourselves and our mothers that resurfaces annually on Mother’s Day..
And this is something to be grieved and healed.
But alongside the grieving – a complex walk I have personally taken –
The most beautiful thing I’ve experienced along this journey of healing and awakening is this:
I didn’t need to have the perfect childhood
The perfect mother
The perfect upbringing and mothering
In order to be nourished, heard, comforted and supported NOW..
Or in order to break free of the religious and familial conditioning that leads to automatic self silencing, suppression, stifling and self abandonment now.
The most beautiful thing is that God himself has stepped into not just my past wounds –
But into my world now, not just as perfect father healing my past, guiding me to truth, sovereignty, and secure attachment and so much more – but also in the role of mother.
This was not something I was expecting at all, as I grew up with the SCRIPTURE IS CLEAR crowd, God is always a man..
And it’s not even about the gender of God.
But one day was speaking to God while doing some inner work..
And was saying to him – “God I feel so healed from my father wounds. I feel so much more secure and protected and safe. And I deeply feel that YOU are now my actual Father which has been so healing and nourishing.. but I don’t feel that way about my mother wounds.”
“I sense that you are strong and protective as my Father, but when it comes to doing the inner work around my mother wounds, sometimes I just want a mother to hold me, to comfort me.”
And this was when he revealed to me that, if I allowed, the Holy Spirit has this same role (of “mother”) in my life and it blew my mind. That God in his multi faceted nature always provides exactly what I need.
The comfort
Nourishment
Feeling heard
Being supported
Without the dysfunction or strings that often come with it is available to me.
That day I learned at a deeper level a lesson I want to share with you today; that He himself is my comfort.
He is the perfect nurturing, consistent comfort and constant source of nourishment and he is here for me – and you.
“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13
God himself has become the foundation on which I am being rebuilt into the Spiritually Wealthy Woman God designed me to be – not from people-pleasing, performance or self abandonment – but from a deep resurrection from the generational toxicity and religious dysfunction handed down to me that only brought death to my life.
And that simple thing – that the Holy Spirit IS my mother, whispering life and comfort into places I previously believed unreachable, life into my conditioned perceived limits and awakening into my most powerful, sovereign, Spiritual Wealthy future
Co-creating with God in all his facets and quirks and qualities
To do my life’s work, and be the woman who owns her voice, her message and writing this today
Has been so healing and life changing.
So today my challenge for you today is this –
Yes today may be challenging and complex but you are not that little Good Christian Girl anymore who shrinks back and silences..
You are no longer a powerless little girl..
You are sovereign, strong and incredible woman destined to release incredible legacy and work into the world.
So here’s the challenge:
Invite THE Holy Spirit (be very clear you only want to speak to The Holy Spirit) about any lack that is surfacing for you today, whether that’s a feeling of current lack in your relationship with your mother, past lack from what you felt you didn’t receive or the future impacts you project from it..
And allow the resurrection and the LIFE to guide you into wholeness in those places so that you can live – not out of generational curses, but from generational life and legacy.
I’ve been thinking about something I see so often in the brilliant, driven, world-changing women who have already achieved so much – and yet still feel that tug of burnout, the weight of “doing it all,” and the constant pull to prove themselves worthy.
It’s not that they’re not powerful. It’s not that they have 2 personalities.. it’s that they’re still carrying the identity conditioning of the “Good Christian Girl” or the “Good Girl”.
They find themselves dimming, dulling and diluting themselves at the oddest of times! And they KNOW this is not who they are.. but they don’t quite know how to be free to be fully themselves without this popping into their sphere.
Here’s the thing: You don’t need another strategy. You need a recalibration.
A shifting identity, to release outdated conditioning – the “not self” – and instead owning the God-led woman you were created to be – the one who moves from significance, not for it.
This is what it looks like:
Good Christian Girls dim their voice, vibrance & authority… God-led women own them & set the world on fire with their impact.
Good Christian Girls measure success by approval, attention & their ability to soothe those around them… God-led women measure success by the presence of God & the impact they co-create.
Good Christian Girls move, create & serve for significance. God-led women move, create & serve from significance.
If you’re a high-achieving female entrepreneur or leader – you already know hustle, burnout, and proving yourself are a dead end.
Your next level isn’t about doing more. It’s about identity recalibration — from “Good Christian Girl” conditioning into your full authority as a God-led woman with global and generational impact.
This is for: 🐚 Visionary female leaders, entrepreneurs, and CEOs who are already in action, achieving results, but are ready to refine, accelerate, and amplify their impact. 🐚 Women who’ve outgrown old patterns of “Good Christian Girl” or people-pleasing energy and are ready to rise unapologetically in God-led alignment. 🐚 High-achieving women who want to move faster, smarter, and more powerfully with clarity, courage, and excitement.
Your courage ignites. Your voice and message sharpens. Your impact multiplies 100x – without burnout.
This is your invitation to realign to the faith + magic + mission + message that unlocks your divine brilliance and unleashes the unapologetic, unstoppable leader you are created to be.
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