Today’s important topic is how to reclaim your personal sovereignty after, you know, maybe growing up in religion having an experience with religious Christianity. Maybe you were married to a Christian man, he was abusive, maybe you were brought up in a Christian family, maybe you went to a Catholic school. And that impacting the way that you are showing up in the world as an influential leader right now. Maybe you feel like you’re a little bit stifled a little bit suppressed, kind of in a box be limited by the past. What I want to do is liberate you from that today!
This topic for me is a huge one, because this was one of like, the pivotal moments in my life where once I actually did grasp this. Everything transformed. But if I can pass these lessons on to you now, so you don’t have to spend, you know, years wandering around the desert wilderness like I did, then this is my gift to you.
So the topic of reclaiming personal sovereignty is a big one. Because not just have I personally gone through it, you know, I’m someone that notices patterns. And so for over the last over a decade, in business in my business, I’ve been watching high achievers, and I really love to observe. Did I just say lob Anywho. I love to observe high achievers. I’m kind of like the David Attenborough of high achievers, right. So I’m like, in the bushes, with my little hat on behind the jungle waters. And I just watched you guys in your natural habitat, and how you show up and where your limits are. And I see, I see, you have so much potential, and you deep down know that or you wouldn’t even be listening to this podcast, right? If you didn’t know that you had some more potential to tap into, you wouldn’t even be listening, right. And so I watch you guys. And I see this potential. But then I also see the patterns. And I see this pattern. And this is the pattern that I was in as well.
And the pattern really caused some significant limits on the influence that I was having in the world, but also the influence that I saw others were able to have in the world. And also the experiences that I was having with clients as well. And the limits and the ceilings that they were coming up against in their business, especially when it came to unleashing their voice and fully using their voice. really owning truly owning the value of what makes them unique and special. And then also really owning their vibrance, like what really showing up in the world at 110% strength and not feeling like they need to kind of mute themselves down. And so this is the pattern that kept coming up. It was always around voice vibrance value.
So it was like having, having those tough conversations. Were really extra challenging. You know how tough conversations are hard. But it can feel extra challenging when you are in this position where you haven’t reclaimed your personal sovereignty because you kind of have this contract, extra conduct contraction going on. Or it’s like actually, I need to be really super nice to this person. I don’t want to upset them. I don’t want to offend them, even though you’re in a conversation with an employee that’s not showing up how they should be. Or maybe they’re, you know, ripping you off or whatever and you still feel like you need to be a nice person or you know, taking it and taking it and taking it and taking it and then finally exploding. Not feeling like you can set boundaries or setting boundaries and then letting them slip. Or the opposite is what I’ve seen is that it’s Like I have to set like really hardcore boundaries because I don’t actually, I have to fight for what is mine, right? And it’s this exhausting place to be in because you’re constantly having these boundary issues. You’re constantly feeling like your personal sovereignty is being questioned, tested, challenged, whatever language it is, it’s like these constant violations are happening. But I am constantly in fight mode to reinforce those boundaries. I’m constantly in fight mode to make sure I get what is mine, which is me, right?
That’s what personal sovereignty is.
I’ve got my definition up here, my definition for sovereignty, as in our personal sovereignty, is honoring my God ordained right to dominion over myself under God as a divinely and intentionally designed human being.
And so we deep down know this and kind of feel this definition, like in our body, it’s like a really physical reaction to our boundaries really being violated to ourselves being violated. And we know this definition, but it’s like, we haven’t reclaimed, we haven’t reclaimed our sovereignty. So we haven’t put back into alignment that the thing that is ours, right, if feeling this, you feeling it kind of deeply, because it’s that physical reaction in your body that is telling you, this isn’t okay by me, right.
But what we do then is we tend to overreact we tend to so old layer, previous layer, she used to take it and take it and take it and take it and take it and then explode. And so it was because I didn’t actually know I didn’t actually feel like I had a claim to myself. I didn’t feel like I had a right to own my, my voice and my vibrance and my value. I didn’t feel like I had a right to set boundaries and to say no to people and, and you know, you might not be this bad, right? Like, oh, Leah, she was pretty bad in this category. Right? I was very extreme, you might not be feel like you’re that extreme. But you just still have these violations being taken place where you’re not actually where you want to be on this, and it leaves you feeling very frustrated, very limited as well.
Because it’s like until you reclaim that sovereignty until you reclaim your voice and your value and your vibrance, you can’t fully show up in the world as yourself in your business in your sphere of influence. And then that therefore limits your ability to feel fully yourself in your business and to contribute to the world to make the world a better place in the world that you in a way that you know you were born for in a way that you really truly desire to.
And so it’s a really frustrating place to be and then I’ve absolutely been there. And so if we aren’t going to kind of if we haven’t reclaimed our personal sovereignty, and created it as I’m going to say, neutral territory, if we haven’t made it neutral territory and taken away that energetic charge that makes us want to, that’s causing that physical reaction in our bodies to every single sovereignty violation that’s going on. Right? I’m not saying that we should take it. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is we want to reclaim our power over this. And we can’t do that, while we’re in a space of reaction. And so what we have to do upon me, is to stop believing the lie, that we don’t actually have rights to ourselves, we have to unpack and really understand who who it is that we are, and who it is that we aren’t, who it is that others are and who it is. They aren’t who it is that God is and who it is God isn’t. And so it’s in understanding these, this kind of tangible separation individuation from others that were actually able to begin to reclaim the territory, because it’s God given territory, right?
This isn’t like some imaginary fairy land that I’m just making up this is God your God does. God designed you as a unique human being you have an individual fingerprints Like the hairs on your head, a number, like the way that our bodies work and can, can heal themselves. And it this, like, the physical body is just insanely amazing thing. Right? So we are these amazing individual God given individual creatures. And because God has created us as intentionally designed individuals who yes, we do take part in the collective. And so in all of our behaviors, we don’t want to be selfish. But if you’re listening to this today, I would say that you have the opposite problem. And that is you think the most minor things are selfish, and they’re actually you staking a claim in the ground for your personal sovereignty. And it’s almost personal sovereignty, it’s almost like drawing a circle around yourself and saying, Well, this is who I am. And this that is who I am not. And this is where you can come. And that is where you cannot come. And so it’s getting really clear on who you are and who you are not. And in that there are there are boundaries, as in verbally spoken boundaries to other people. But there are also energetic boundaries, you know, we can verbally speak boundaries, until the cows come home. And I’m going to do a whole episode just on this topic.
But if we don’t have the energetic boundaries, if we are not actually holding that energetic standard, if we allow, we are okay. And we allow because we are trying to be. So for example, an employee’s stealing money from the register, and you confront them, and you work yourself up to have this conversation, you’ve, you know, had a bunch of anxiety and doing some deep breathing, you finally decide to confront this person, you sit them down in your office, as the CEO, and you’re like, we’ve noticed this has been happening, can you please not do that anymore, if you do that, then you’re going to be fired, right? But the thing that you may not know and realize about yourself, if you have not reclaimed your personal sovereignty, if you still have some of that, I call it the good Christian girl. And I’m going to talk about that in another episode. But if you still had that Good girl, good Christian girl thing going on, subconsciously, we don’t consciously you might be like, I’m gonna show up as the most powerful queen in my business. But subconsciously, if you haven’t dealt with this stuff, then that person energetically can feel that you are too nice, and that you are probably not going to fire them. And so they’re going to do it again. And so you might find yourself in these scenarios where these things are happening again, and again. And again, you like, why are they happening, I’m setting boundaries, right? And it’s so frustrating. But it’s because you haven’t reclaimed your personal sovereignty in these areas.
Another area that can come up in is around your personal, setting that personal authority and having that voice and taking a stand for the things that really matter to you. But what you might find yourself doing instead is, if you haven’t reclaimed your personal sovereignty is really, you know, shrinking down, or staying silent when you really want to say something, or not taking a stand for the work that you really want to do and doing, saying the things that you’ve really mattered to you and doing work that is really meaningful, right? And so, these are real, energetic drains, and we end up feeling so just exhausted and burnt out, and not able to put a finger on why.
And the reason why is because they’ve got all these energy leaks, where you you aren’t taking a stand for your personal sovereignty, because you’ve been taught not to write, I’m not saying all religious environments are like this, but a lot of them are, especially in religious Christian environments, where you are literally taught to be that good Christian girl who is compliant, who is service, like her value is found in serving others, who is who, you know, does let anyone do anything because she’s just nice, and she’s happy and she’s smiling all the time. And she’s good, you know, and she’s silent and quiet and stays, you know, wears her beautiful pink dress and doesn’t rock the boat. Right? So we’re literally taught we can this is, this is our inherent sovereignty is already there. It’s intrinsic. It’s already there. But it’s conditioned out of us in these environments. And so that’s, that’s why take a stand for it, you know, because we were not born to be this good, silent, compliant Christian little girls.
We are born to have personal authority God has given us dominion over that realm. And so we have to make that shift, if we want to actually fully unlock the influence that we’re born to have, we have to, this is one of the biggest first steps that has to happen. You’ve got to reclaim your energy and your voice and your vibrance, because it’s yours. And if you don’t reclaim it, then you can’t unlock the impact that you’re born for.
What I’ve noticed is, it’s just getting harder and harder. Have you noticed this, that it’s getting harder and harder to actually be an individual in this world, to take a stand to, to have a voice to say something different to to be different, to look different.
So if you are someone that’s just kind of waiting for it to get easier, or to a lot of women, I find think that this comes with age as well. And it’s one of the biggest lies that were told, because it’s like, you don’t reach the age of like 60. And all of a sudden, you’ve reclaimed your voice. No, you get to, in your personal sovereignty, you get to reclaim that now, not when you think age decides to just like let it fall into your lap. That’s such a victim martyr way of looking at it, you get to reclaim this now. And the reason that I want to do this more and more, and I want to help you guys do it more and more is because I know that it’s getting more challenging.
I know that we need better voices out there in society, we need bigger change. And we need generational and global impact. Because the patterns that we have, we only pass on to those in our sphere of influence, and those in our bloodline. And so if you are having a challenging time, reclaiming your personal sovereignty, you can be Fish’s certain that your daughter is going to have that exact same problem, because the modeling that she has received from you. And this isn’t this isn’t about self bashing, or self blame at all, this is just literally this is how the world works, right. And now that you know better, you can do better, and you do better. Why because we have that influence of our bloodline and our sphere of influence.
I think that’s the most magical thing on the face of this planet, that we have that superpower to jump in, to reclaim this for ourselves. And then that automatically, all the eyes that are watching us, we think that eyes are not watching us, but they are people are watching. And that automatically enters change into their world because it changes the dynamic changes the way that you show up. And so at the moment, you might feel like when you do show up, in a big way, maybe you’ve got a podcast, and maybe you’ve got a YouTube channel, maybe you do a TEDx talk, or even just showing up in your group programs as a coach, or doing an Instagram post, you might find that you feel those feelings of guilt. You know, you feel guilty for being successful, or you feel secretly greedy when you charge high ticket prices, or you feel selfish for wanting more out of life or selfish for wanting to set these boundaries.
You know, and so it’s really, it’s so important because these feelings just sit below the surface. It’s like they sit there and it’s not even like we’re super conscious of them. Sometimes, have you noticed that? That it’s like they just kind of sit there and there’s something there that you can’t quite put your finger on. And often it’s these, I call them the top four, you know, you’ve got guilt, greed, selfishness, and feeling like you’re too much. And they’re really hard to put your finger on. But these are the feelings that come up, bubble up to the surface. Any actually, it’s that past programming and conditioning that is keeping us in a box right now. Right?
We really we want to feel unstoppable. We want to feel excited and feel fully like ourselves in our businesses in our sphere of influence. So that when we’re showing up, we’re showing up in integrity and in authenticity, and so that you can show up and actually make that contribution that you know you were born for. I’ve had clients where it’s like they want to build orphanages in Thailand. They want to do build wells in Africa and it’s like phenomenal, right?
But until they actually smash through these ceilings and neutralize anything that still lingering in their subconscious from the past. Then they really find it it feels like an uphill battle.
All to be able to get where they really want to go like that next level change, generational impact that they actually, you know, just really making the world a better place from just being you. And like, what an amazing opportunity that is, this is totally doable. Like, if you know, deep down that you are born to do this, then you’re born to do this, right. And so I really want you to trust that Inkling. And I want you to make the leap that you know you were born for, and stop believing a lie that you don’t have a right to yourself, because you do you have a God given intrinsic, right, that’s there just because you are and a unique individual hand designed by God, we’re going to be creating more and more amazing resources for you. And that you can download, I had a bit of a brain freeze to thin but it came back, it’s all good. You can look at the show notes or go to layer samira.com. and navigate to the podcast page. And you’ll be able to find some free resources there that we’re building for you guys going to be amazing. And just final thought,
What would it look like if you actually really gave yourself permission to be who you really are?
Despite culture, despite family despite the opinions of other people, despite what things look like in the past and the conditioning that you’ve received, even from religious environments?
To stop feeling like you have to pretzel yourself to shrink yourself down?
What would it look like if you did actually finally step take that stand for something and do the work that matters and set the boundaries that you want to set and not feel like you have to be nice when you know and you physically feel like people are crossing your boundaries? Right?
What would that look like?
Because that’s all completely available to you just need to make the decision.